Does a cow shit in the woods?

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Does a cow shit in the woods?

It's a metaphorical question about the fuck-hole that I'm in as of now.


As some of you know I have a felony that I have to go to court for, and in a completely unrelated charge, they said I need to go to a drug program or I won't get another charge I have dropped, not only does that charge had nothing to do with drugs it has no relevance to my felony charge..

I'm fucked either way.

The rehab starts soon, I'm going to be in In-patient because that is what they said I needed at the drug program for past abuse. Lately, I've been horribly sick with a cough and fever, my lungs constantly hurt. I haven't gone to the doctor yet because there going to have one at the In-patient program. It's going to look bad, going into a rehab sick looks like your having withdrawals. It's going to be something like lock down, it isn't my first rodeo if you know what I mean. Great.:rolleyes: Maybe if I try to escape they can shove a "cocktail" in my ass cheek. For those that don't understand what a cocktail is -- it's a tranquilizer used by the orderly's to "put down" patients, which they then shove in your ass cheek, well at least they did at the place I went to.

I will admit, I do like the patients that are in a mental hospital or drug program, really I do, their the people I seem to understand the most. There's something about "crazy" people that I get, I don't know what it is, maybe I enjoy messing with "normal" people to much, or those that are over-opinionated and don't have a since of reality at all. I really don't know, maybe I'm a dick to people unknowingly, I think I'm a nice guy, but then again I'm the type of person that tells homeless people and crackheads it's their own damn fault, even though I've been there myself. I know I'm overly paranoid, and have a phobia of cars, no joke. When I see a car accelerate or even when I'm in one, I'm afraid I'm going to be hit by someone else and it's going to kill me. Hell I can't even drive on the highway because I'm so terrified, and I usually break into a panic, or have troubles breathing when I'm in a car, even in the passengers seat. I know this is an over share about me bitching about my life, and I know it could be much worse, but this is something I just needed to get off my chest. Oh, and I have yet to tell my family about the felony incident with the cops beating me and what not.

So, to answer the question I asked in the beginning.

No, A cow shits in the pasture, But I'm starting to think, maybe this cow, at least, needs to shit in the woods.

Note: I tried my best to find all the writing errors in this thread to all of you Grammar Nazis out there that constantly bust balls because someone said "youre" instead of you're or "theyre" instead of their or if someone forgot to capitalize the first letter in a sentence.
 
Mind the cow patties. And if a cow wanders from the pasture into the woods, and the mood strikes to drop a pasture puck...I imagine he would.

Hope you manage to get off their radar soon. Sucks being on that side of the wall.
 
One might ask of a story of a cow in the woods, This is Claud's story.

Claud was a cow.

And she dreamed and dreamed of being able to one day shit in the woods.

Well, one day the farmer became lazy from working on his fence all day, and retired for the night, Claud seeing this took the advantage.

She ran head first into the woods. Hit her head on a tree passed out and found herself stuck the next morning.

Many days before, she was in heat, and a bull mounted her. Unknowingly she was with calf, and when stuck in the woods, her calf needed to be flipped because Claud's uterus and became twisted because of the high birth weight of her calf.

The farmer wasn't there and she died.

I hope this clears any misunderstandings up.


In Texas we use "cow" instead of "bear". Well, at least the people I know do.
It's a figure of speech, cows don't shit in the woods, I don't think any type of bovine do. Possible yes, but not very plausible.
 
This is not a complete sentence.

Haha, just kidding. My grammar sucks something fierce. Anyway, I read the thread where you went into your unfortunate circumstances. (Irrefutable proof that you should NEVER carry coke on your person, no matter how small it is.)

Hope things work out for ya.
 
You know, Havok, they do say that "they make everything bigger in Texas," even though you could take Alaska, cut it in half, and still have two states larger than it. :D
 
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