Do you think this is a good poem?

Olivia

New member
This is my poem and Please don't be rude. I'm thirteen and I wrote it. Please Enjoy


I Prefer the Night



If there were a colour to describe the night besides black, I would take it. It would be mine. My special colour.

If I could reach out and grab the stars by the handful and they would burn my hands with radiance, I would.

I prefer the longer nights, because the sky is dark and blank for you to create. Your creation.

The blackness takes you to other worlds and dreams, before you lays a deep thought. In daylight you are awake in the center of needles commotion.

Are we not the ones who praise the sun but the stars not enough? Without moonlight we would wander the streets blind, as well without starlight.

Night is calm, quiet. Let it be silenced because if you listen carefully, you will have endless thoughts.

We praise the light but not the dark. We praise the sun but the rain not enough.

Rain makes beautiful music for those who care to listen. The colour of your sight changes on a cloudy rainy day and if makes you feel alive. Unlike sun… soundless and untouchable. The rain is active and keeps me alive as well as the world.

And so my friends, don’t forget the wonders of rain and night, but do not stray from the path of sun and light. They all should be equal, because imagine the world missing one. Only those with vast imaginations can see that night and rain were meant to be. Don’t turn your back on it because at some point you will need it. Look harder my friends, and you may foresee it.
 
This would be awesome....
of you were writing an essay about
emotions and stars and moonlight.
This doesn't quite seem like a poem
it does not have poetic structure.
try and structure this poem differently
perhaps tight-fitting lines with different
and separate stanzas. I like your concepts
thought about moonlight and stars, very original
although some parts begin to become bland.
Keep with this just structure it differently
and read good poetry to become a good poet.
I suggest Walt Whitman, he loved to use
plenty of imagery in his poems, perhaps you
would like to read his.
 
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