Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment for my heart murmur that has been worsening the past few years, my chest seizes up in pain and sometimes it takes me awhile to catch my breath and breath without it feeling tight and painful. I've had a heart murmur since I was a baby so when I first when in while in elementary school he said it wasn't uncommon and I'd be fine.
However, since I was 16 I started throwing up daily. I know its wrong but part of me doesn't want to stop. As I grew older I started going on fasts for days or keeping to a daily schedule of no more of 500 calories a day unless I go on my throwing up spouts. I often try to trick myself into eating things but I start to panic and it results in a more strict diet or throwing up the meal. I'm now 19 years old, and I feel that my heart murmur could have worsened because of what I've done the past four years. Maybe I'm just over analyzing?
My last doctors appointment which was a year ago I weighed in at 98 pounds, I now weigh in at 89-90 depending on what I've eaten for the day. Will he suspect I have an eating disorder and if sent to a cardiologist will he suspect anything? I haven't dropped down much weigh but I think that's mainly because I throw up more than anything and supposedly bulimics weigh around normal, but I don't really fit into each disorder completely and solely?
I'm 19 years old, 5' 2'' inches tall, and weigh in at 89-90 pounds.
I don't want him to notice but then a part of me does want help, we don't go to the doctors often and since this is the last year I'm living with my parents I feel this is my last chance. I can't bring myself to ask for help, I just can't. As sick as it may sound, I don't feel like I've lost enough weight for him to notice. :/
I know what I'm doing is wrong, I don't need anyone to tell me that, it's already embossed in my mind. I'm just wondering if you were a doctor would you suspect it?
However, since I was 16 I started throwing up daily. I know its wrong but part of me doesn't want to stop. As I grew older I started going on fasts for days or keeping to a daily schedule of no more of 500 calories a day unless I go on my throwing up spouts. I often try to trick myself into eating things but I start to panic and it results in a more strict diet or throwing up the meal. I'm now 19 years old, and I feel that my heart murmur could have worsened because of what I've done the past four years. Maybe I'm just over analyzing?
My last doctors appointment which was a year ago I weighed in at 98 pounds, I now weigh in at 89-90 depending on what I've eaten for the day. Will he suspect I have an eating disorder and if sent to a cardiologist will he suspect anything? I haven't dropped down much weigh but I think that's mainly because I throw up more than anything and supposedly bulimics weigh around normal, but I don't really fit into each disorder completely and solely?
I'm 19 years old, 5' 2'' inches tall, and weigh in at 89-90 pounds.
I don't want him to notice but then a part of me does want help, we don't go to the doctors often and since this is the last year I'm living with my parents I feel this is my last chance. I can't bring myself to ask for help, I just can't. As sick as it may sound, I don't feel like I've lost enough weight for him to notice. :/
I know what I'm doing is wrong, I don't need anyone to tell me that, it's already embossed in my mind. I'm just wondering if you were a doctor would you suspect it?