do you like this poem?

  • Thread starter Thread starter blazin4life505
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blazin4life505

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Bipolar
I hate being bipolar so much it’s so hard to explain.

One minute I’m happy next I’m in such a deep pain.

So I write to take all the stress off my brain.
I don’t mean to hurt people but when I do I feel ashamed .

I hate this I feel broken on the inside but no one can tell on the outside.

So I keep everything locked up inside but when people ask what’s wrong I just lie.

I wish this was one bad dream that’s why I love no one can hear my silent scream.
 
The above answerer gives some good advice. Your "poem" is more like a series of bland statements. There are no poetic devices used. Read an actual poet and forget this lame hip-hop inspired stuff. It just isn't interesting.
 
Don't be so literal...the best artists use their words to cover up what they are really trying to say, the meaning is shrouded in mystery.. some of the most beautiful things we can experience are of the mysterious sort...have you ever seen the milky way from in the boonies... it's so deeply mysterious. My advice is to go to your library and find the best modern and contemporary poetry books you can find....do it. study the masters...
 
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