Do you like this poem?

M

Mali Mali!

New member
It just came to me...yeah i would just like some more opinions. please be appropriate.


The Lake Of Glass

Standing by the window, eyes upon the stars
Dreaming of the time when my spirit traveled far
I close my eyes and take a breath
And now I'm standing by The Lake Of Glass

I hear my spirit call for me in the waters
I see you face and then my voice, it falters
And as you come near, I feel my spirit rising
And now I'm walking towards The Lake Of Glass

We take hands and together we then walk
There is such a peace there is no need to talk
I feel the cold of water on my feet
I have a sense of you inside my being

And now we're living in The Lake Of Glass
 
Wow that's really good! Sort of... Soothing, calming...
You sound like you were in a trance when you wrote this.
It reminded me of my dream (random, I know!) I don't know why though. I guess reading the poem painted a picture in my head which was very similar to my dream.

The poem has strong emotion in it and I feel curious about it.
The meaning. It has an air of mystery about it.

'I see you face and then my voice, it falters.'
Do you mean: I see your face and then I hear my voice, it falters.
Just an idea. I'd read it out loud too and correct anything that you might not like or something. Always try to make it the best it can get!

It's a very good poem overall! I enjoy writing things that come to me and turning them into a poem too! (:
 
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