Do you like this piece of poetry. Is there something I need to change.?

D

Deborah

New member
An Empty Nest

Who wipes away the tears
as she calms my fears?
Whose hand touches mine
and makes it fine?
Since I need your care
time for you is rare.

There is so much to learn
it’s for love I yearn.
I need you to teach me
what I am to be.
just open the door
there’s a world to explore.

Some day I’ll tie my shoes
the same as you do.
Teach me right from wrong
as I follow along.
Show me how to achieve
so I can believe.

There will come a day
I will fly away.
Leaving an empty nest
just like the rest.
When it is time to leave
your heart will grieve.

By Deborah R
 
The whole thing.

Seriously though, think out of the box a little. It's very generic down from the words you use, the themes you use to the way you rhyme it. There is nothing different, anyone could write that.

Lets not delude ourselves.
 
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