WriterGirrrl
New member
ok, i posted a question earlier with the first peice, this is the second bit. i'll explain in case you didn't first bit.
a girl is the last one out of school, on a friday evening. she hears footsteps and see's a shadow dart across the mirror in the toilets. when she goes to the playground the gates are locked. a voice behind her says " thats good, safely shut in for the weekend".
heres the next bit.
My stomach dropped to the floor with that steely tone of male voice. No. surely I was imagining it. But in my heart I knew I wasn’t. I heard about this sort of thing on the news all the time, especially in our area. This was it. My turn. An end to my misery.
I turned around, terrified, I gasped. I found myself looking straight into the cold green eyes of a man. His face was twisted and old-looking, he was clutching a bottle a beer in one gnarled hand as he staggered and spilt some down his ragged weather-beaten clothes. He reached out a shaking grimy arm and grabbed my arm. I noticed his outstretched arm and wrist were covered in holes and scratches. The arm of a heroin addict. I had seen enough of them to tell on people who came to see dad when he lived at home.
“ ‘ello darlin’, he said with a deep London twang.
“I’ve been waitin’ for you”.
please give me your thoughts on it, i wrote it age 13
no i didn't have a tough upbringing.
im english that is why my spelling is different from you americans
please answer, its really important. its for a book i'm writing.
no i didn't have a tough upbringing.
im english that is why my spelling is different from you americans
a girl is the last one out of school, on a friday evening. she hears footsteps and see's a shadow dart across the mirror in the toilets. when she goes to the playground the gates are locked. a voice behind her says " thats good, safely shut in for the weekend".
heres the next bit.
My stomach dropped to the floor with that steely tone of male voice. No. surely I was imagining it. But in my heart I knew I wasn’t. I heard about this sort of thing on the news all the time, especially in our area. This was it. My turn. An end to my misery.
I turned around, terrified, I gasped. I found myself looking straight into the cold green eyes of a man. His face was twisted and old-looking, he was clutching a bottle a beer in one gnarled hand as he staggered and spilt some down his ragged weather-beaten clothes. He reached out a shaking grimy arm and grabbed my arm. I noticed his outstretched arm and wrist were covered in holes and scratches. The arm of a heroin addict. I had seen enough of them to tell on people who came to see dad when he lived at home.
“ ‘ello darlin’, he said with a deep London twang.
“I’ve been waitin’ for you”.
please give me your thoughts on it, i wrote it age 13
no i didn't have a tough upbringing.
im english that is why my spelling is different from you americans
please answer, its really important. its for a book i'm writing.
no i didn't have a tough upbringing.
im english that is why my spelling is different from you americans