Do you like my sonnet?

hello.mate.

New member
dangerous beauty

The creams and serums bursting with bronze shades
That are smeared onto her delicate face
Taint her complexion in efforts to aid
The ugliness seen and craved to erase

Dark colours stain her gem-like lips and eyes
Until her most gorgeous assets are caked
With her real shine reduced by toxic dyes
Any grace left should not be stressed and ached

Alas, dissatisfaction with her look
Plagues the poor beauty to the point of dread
Sprays and heat applied to every nook
Of the once supple hair that frames her head

Men fall victim to her painted demeanour
But hell, before this, you should have seen her!


the last two lines used to be
"men fall victim to her lovely decoy
her natural worth undergoes destroy" but i edited it because of a y!a suggestion. does it sound much better?
 
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