Do you like my poetry?

[Emo_Kid_]

There she is alone standing in the rain loosing her heart going insane.
Looking for home Lost in the world without any faith.
Watching the tears fall from her face she is a disgrace.
Crushed on the inside trying to hide hoping just to die.
Theres no going back. Theres no where else to go.
She made a mistake just to young to know.
And I look at her shes lost in her mind her hope she can't find.
Her eyes dry and red full of dread eyes full of love now full of grudge against life. And she wonders throw the night.
Keep on looking for light.
But falls in the dark again.
The moon shine's cold apon dim lit river.
The world is in silence as the stars cry there song of peace.
And the embers slowly dieing lay to raught in the snow.
A winter's dream something out of this world.
A wish apon a shooting star.
A wonderland apon a midnight dreary.
Of love never ending never growing weary

 

[mary r]

That is probably the best poem I've read on YA. I love it. It's put together and has amazing word choices and rhythm. Ugh... I don't know what it is that makes it so amazing but it is. Your very talented. Maybe its the idea of the poem, you seem to really know what your talking about, that is rare. My only suggestion is to organize your lines along with the rhythm and to maybe delete the last line, it messes with the beat and the second to last line is really strong (my favorite). Or you could add another line, maybe, "She just needs to pretend" or something of that sort. Anyway I love it. Keep writing and email me your other works, I would like to read them for inspiration. I've been in a rut lately. Actually I think I like your poem so much I am going to save it to my favorites. Good luck.