I'm reposting this. I got three good comments before but want to get a few more.
Hey, I was thinking of entering this into a poetry contest later today. I wrote this for mothers who've experienced the loss of a child before their time, whether from illness, war, accident, and other means. I haven't experienced this at all, but I wanted to capture what the loneliness and despair might be like. Here it is:
The Forgotten
A moth springs from its white cracked egg;
one among millions, millions among one,
holding dear,
their mother’s tear.
Their wings crackle, fresh and unused,
drawn toward an eternal beacon
they fly.
Dancing among the silent flames,
they vanish to hell,
with a shutter, and a cry.
Charred bodies fall
upon the callous Earth,
as bittersweet dreams swiftly fade
Until, all that remains is a mother’s moan,
silently etched,
upon crumbling stone.
People have pointed out there was no rhyme scheme but that was intentional to show the dis array of emotions a person feels when faced with lost.
Thx!
4 good comments*, and any criticism is welcome. I'm a big boy I can take it
. All the best and hope you enjoyed it!
Hey, I was thinking of entering this into a poetry contest later today. I wrote this for mothers who've experienced the loss of a child before their time, whether from illness, war, accident, and other means. I haven't experienced this at all, but I wanted to capture what the loneliness and despair might be like. Here it is:
The Forgotten
A moth springs from its white cracked egg;
one among millions, millions among one,
holding dear,
their mother’s tear.
Their wings crackle, fresh and unused,
drawn toward an eternal beacon
they fly.
Dancing among the silent flames,
they vanish to hell,
with a shutter, and a cry.
Charred bodies fall
upon the callous Earth,
as bittersweet dreams swiftly fade
Until, all that remains is a mother’s moan,
silently etched,
upon crumbling stone.
People have pointed out there was no rhyme scheme but that was intentional to show the dis array of emotions a person feels when faced with lost.
Thx!
4 good comments*, and any criticism is welcome. I'm a big boy I can take it
. All the best and hope you enjoyed it!