S
Surferra S
Guest
Okay well i just recently got into writing books/stories and im really into it right now haha but anyway i was wondering, from what I have so far, would you want to continue reading?? If no, what can I change to make it better?
thanks!! (p.s. im only 13 so please dont b too brutal haha)
I opened the door, surprised by the summer sunrise over the horizon. A red pickup truck was parked down the steps in front of me. The windows were tinted; I heard a click from inside the car, and a pair of brown cowboy boots shown as the door of the pickup opened. A boy, looking around 16 years old, stepped out from behind the door. He took a large step toward me, his short blonde hair shaking against his forehead.
“Hayden Cadwell?” He asked. I smiled tentatively, and nodded. A bright grin appeared on his face, raising the freckles on his cheeks.
“I’m Tanner.” He said. “Brentwood.” He added quickly. He jabbed a thumb north down the road I lived on “I um live down the street; your dad hired me to train your horses for the derby.”
“’Course not” I smiled sheepishly back, blushing. “Are eggs okay?”
“That’s fine with me, if its food, I’ll eat it” He laughed. I grabbed the carton of eggs from the fridge, and a pan from one of the cabinets.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking but, might you have a bathroom in this giant house of yours?” He asked, fighting back a laugh.
“Right down the hall” I pointed past the front door, laughing and blushing all in one.
Prologue
That little town in northern Kentucky was where the magic had first appeared. But once we were together, once we knew our destiny, the magic seemed to follow us everywhere. It followed us through the end of the summer, through senior year, and through the rest of our lives. And one day, for the next two who meet here, the magic will follow them through their lives, keeping them together forever, just as it has done for us.
Chapter 1
The wind whistled through the trees. The creek trickled further down the mountain as I ran. The sun was beginning to rise and I needed to make it home before my parents knew I was gone. The gravel crunched beneath my boots as a made my way up the driveway to our welcoming ranch in rural Kentucky. I sneaked quietly through the front door, kicked off my boots, and tiptoed up the stairs to my room.
I inhaled the homely pine smell of the newly furnished wood floors and lightly closed the door behind me. The orange and pink flowered comforter was neatly tucked into the bottom of my wooden canopy bed. The light from outside reflected onto the metallic-colored pillows on my windowsill, instantly reminding me that my parents would wake up soon and I needed to be ready to start chores.
I hurried into the bathroom and turned on the hot water in the shower. I suddenly heard the crumble of the gravel as a car pulled up the drive. I wondered who could possibly be here this early. I took a quick glance at the clock; it was almost 6 AM. I turned off the water, leaving my room, and jogged down the stairs.
I vaguely remembered my father talking about training circumstances for the derby. We lived on a horse farm, my dad had always been into horse racing, and we bred and raced them for business.
“Oh yea, sorry, you can come in if you like.” I motioned to the open door behind me.
“That would be great.” He smiled his dazzling smile again, turning around to lock the truck.
I turned to walk into the house, hearing Tanner’s steps behind me, and walked into the kitchen.
“You hungry?” I asked walking over to the fridge.
“Yea, now that you mention it. Do you mind?” He smiled again, looking straight into my eyes and my heart began to beat a hundred miles per hour beneath my chest.
thanks!! (p.s. im only 13 so please dont b too brutal haha)
I opened the door, surprised by the summer sunrise over the horizon. A red pickup truck was parked down the steps in front of me. The windows were tinted; I heard a click from inside the car, and a pair of brown cowboy boots shown as the door of the pickup opened. A boy, looking around 16 years old, stepped out from behind the door. He took a large step toward me, his short blonde hair shaking against his forehead.
“Hayden Cadwell?” He asked. I smiled tentatively, and nodded. A bright grin appeared on his face, raising the freckles on his cheeks.
“I’m Tanner.” He said. “Brentwood.” He added quickly. He jabbed a thumb north down the road I lived on “I um live down the street; your dad hired me to train your horses for the derby.”
“’Course not” I smiled sheepishly back, blushing. “Are eggs okay?”
“That’s fine with me, if its food, I’ll eat it” He laughed. I grabbed the carton of eggs from the fridge, and a pan from one of the cabinets.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking but, might you have a bathroom in this giant house of yours?” He asked, fighting back a laugh.
“Right down the hall” I pointed past the front door, laughing and blushing all in one.
Prologue
That little town in northern Kentucky was where the magic had first appeared. But once we were together, once we knew our destiny, the magic seemed to follow us everywhere. It followed us through the end of the summer, through senior year, and through the rest of our lives. And one day, for the next two who meet here, the magic will follow them through their lives, keeping them together forever, just as it has done for us.
Chapter 1
The wind whistled through the trees. The creek trickled further down the mountain as I ran. The sun was beginning to rise and I needed to make it home before my parents knew I was gone. The gravel crunched beneath my boots as a made my way up the driveway to our welcoming ranch in rural Kentucky. I sneaked quietly through the front door, kicked off my boots, and tiptoed up the stairs to my room.
I inhaled the homely pine smell of the newly furnished wood floors and lightly closed the door behind me. The orange and pink flowered comforter was neatly tucked into the bottom of my wooden canopy bed. The light from outside reflected onto the metallic-colored pillows on my windowsill, instantly reminding me that my parents would wake up soon and I needed to be ready to start chores.
I hurried into the bathroom and turned on the hot water in the shower. I suddenly heard the crumble of the gravel as a car pulled up the drive. I wondered who could possibly be here this early. I took a quick glance at the clock; it was almost 6 AM. I turned off the water, leaving my room, and jogged down the stairs.
I vaguely remembered my father talking about training circumstances for the derby. We lived on a horse farm, my dad had always been into horse racing, and we bred and raced them for business.
“Oh yea, sorry, you can come in if you like.” I motioned to the open door behind me.
“That would be great.” He smiled his dazzling smile again, turning around to lock the truck.
I turned to walk into the house, hearing Tanner’s steps behind me, and walked into the kitchen.
“You hungry?” I asked walking over to the fridge.
“Yea, now that you mention it. Do you mind?” He smiled again, looking straight into my eyes and my heart began to beat a hundred miles per hour beneath my chest.