N
Nectarine
Guest
Do you ever get up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed, pick out an outfit, search relentlessly for the other shoe that is the ONLY PAIR you could possibly wear with this outfit that you are starting to reconsider, I mean, these shorts were awfully close to creating muffintop, and considering the shoe has gone AWOL, well, the outfit was a terrible idea to begin with, god your style sucks, you can't pull off an outfit like that anyway, who the hell do you think you are? ...
Then you blowdry your hair, make sure your bathing suit is tucked into your tank, finish off that last cup of coffee (YES IM GETTING TO THE POINT), furable around, tossing jeans and jackets about in an effort to locate your keys, finally find them... Get in your car, eject the CD, find another one that suits your mood, load it - upside down the first time of course, you clumsy fool - then start your economy sedan and back down the driveway... 20 minutes to the beach, the bridge is up to the island on the way there, gotta let the freighter pass. EVENTUALLY you reach the beach. And it only took two and a half hours of preparation - but here you are! Not a cloud in the sky, you've got your book, your SPF, a towel, your foldy chair, and your minicooler.
You stop the engine. You're getting everything together, and you freeze. There are people here. More than usual. What is really usual though? You don't really remeraber. Maybe it's really not that crowded, but man, you can see from here that any spot you choose will be in fairly close range of other people. Maybe less than a few hundred feet, even... the thought makes you shudder. The car door was open less than a full 3 inches before it sank back down with a soft thud. You don't really notice, you're too busy hating yourself. Hating yourself for not knowing why you couldn't find the courage to go outside.
No. You know better by now, you know as well as that mocking sea, you won't be going anywhere except back home. You don't know why you have no control over yourself. You just know that you can't get that close to other people. Not here. Maybe in the grocery store, once you have grown tired of driving ridiculously out of your way to but instant gratification junk food and now decided it's time to shop for grocery food. It's healthier. You idiot. How did you survive long enough to type?
Then you blowdry your hair, make sure your bathing suit is tucked into your tank, finish off that last cup of coffee (YES IM GETTING TO THE POINT), furable around, tossing jeans and jackets about in an effort to locate your keys, finally find them... Get in your car, eject the CD, find another one that suits your mood, load it - upside down the first time of course, you clumsy fool - then start your economy sedan and back down the driveway... 20 minutes to the beach, the bridge is up to the island on the way there, gotta let the freighter pass. EVENTUALLY you reach the beach. And it only took two and a half hours of preparation - but here you are! Not a cloud in the sky, you've got your book, your SPF, a towel, your foldy chair, and your minicooler.
You stop the engine. You're getting everything together, and you freeze. There are people here. More than usual. What is really usual though? You don't really remeraber. Maybe it's really not that crowded, but man, you can see from here that any spot you choose will be in fairly close range of other people. Maybe less than a few hundred feet, even... the thought makes you shudder. The car door was open less than a full 3 inches before it sank back down with a soft thud. You don't really notice, you're too busy hating yourself. Hating yourself for not knowing why you couldn't find the courage to go outside.
No. You know better by now, you know as well as that mocking sea, you won't be going anywhere except back home. You don't know why you have no control over yourself. You just know that you can't get that close to other people. Not here. Maybe in the grocery store, once you have grown tired of driving ridiculously out of your way to but instant gratification junk food and now decided it's time to shop for grocery food. It's healthier. You idiot. How did you survive long enough to type?