do you consider this a good poem?

C

cssnipez

New member
silent pain

in this world
where nobody cares
i feel so alone
and no one is here

i'm surrounded by people
that i cannot feel
but i suffer the pain
time will not heal

i'm screaming
and begging for help
but deep inside i know
that no one can hear he yelp

i pretend not to care
but one thing remains
i will still suffer
my silent pains


please it you think its bad don't leave mean and hurtful comments

thanks
 
Nope, too straight forward. A majority of great poems are renowned for the subtlety and the room left for interpretation. Poetry is an outlet for people who normally can't express themselves which creates this idea of subtlety. You are way too direct, try to tone it down. You definitely have an image you want to portray, I don't think it's graphic enough. I suggest using extended metaphors and really painting a vivid picture of your feelings in their mind. A great writer will manipulate the readers emotions. You're on a great start, put definitely put more time and make your poem shine!
 
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