A
adoredlatina
Guest
help me out? My fiance and I have been together for almost 4 years and have been engaged since Valentines. We are getting married next year, but there are some things that I have on my mind. He lived in California when we met and his family lived in Texas and to this day it is exactly the same. I didn't drag him to live in California with me. Well this past year his parents, mostly his mom has been trying to get him back to Texas and have been kind of shady about it. For example-
-They built an extra room at their place and said it was for my fiance during summer break. When they told me this the first thing I thought was, he is no longer a kid, he doesn't get summer break he works. But I just smiled and nodded.
-His mom will call him and blame him for the things his brothers are doing since he isn't there to be the big brother, but he talks to his parents and brothers on a daily bases.
-His mom tells us in March that she will pay for half of the wedding, but then quits her job in April, was not fired or layed off but quit. She finally found a new job and when my fiance asked if she could send money for the deposit she starts going off on all the bills she needs to pay and how one of the cars had to be returned, but they had an extra car that no one was driving. More cars then people at the house. I mean if she cant help, that’s fine. I completely respect that and don’t want anyone to struggle due to this wedding. But she starts going off on my fiancé on all their bills and that doesn’t need to be shared with your kid. And then they will ask him to send them money. We just bought a house and have our own stuff to pay for.
-She tells him before she even met me that she likes me. I find that a little strange that you can like someone before you meet or talk to them . I didn’t think anything of it at first, but when I went to their house in Texas to visit the first time everything was great, but when I went this past year she would only talk and be nice to me in front of my fiancé and when it would just be me helping her with the groceries she didn’t say a word. I would try to make conversation, but it got no where.
*My fiancé and I went to a pre maritual counsler and she explaned to us that we have to separate ourselves from our families and become one in our own bubble, but I feel like I am in this bubble all by myself and I wasn’t sure if I should address this before or after the wedding. Maybe we become in our own bubble once we are married and to do it before hand would be asking too much. Is this something you address before or after marriage? And am I wrong for wanting him to become closer to me and kind of shy away from his parents depending on him? To stand up to them every once in a while. I guess I kind of feel alone, because he seems more supportive to his family then me. Am I being selfish? No need to be harsh I really just want to know so I can make everything all better, whether it be working on my self or working with my fiance to fix how I feel.
Sorry its long.. I kind of needed to vent. ..
-They built an extra room at their place and said it was for my fiance during summer break. When they told me this the first thing I thought was, he is no longer a kid, he doesn't get summer break he works. But I just smiled and nodded.
-His mom will call him and blame him for the things his brothers are doing since he isn't there to be the big brother, but he talks to his parents and brothers on a daily bases.
-His mom tells us in March that she will pay for half of the wedding, but then quits her job in April, was not fired or layed off but quit. She finally found a new job and when my fiance asked if she could send money for the deposit she starts going off on all the bills she needs to pay and how one of the cars had to be returned, but they had an extra car that no one was driving. More cars then people at the house. I mean if she cant help, that’s fine. I completely respect that and don’t want anyone to struggle due to this wedding. But she starts going off on my fiancé on all their bills and that doesn’t need to be shared with your kid. And then they will ask him to send them money. We just bought a house and have our own stuff to pay for.
-She tells him before she even met me that she likes me. I find that a little strange that you can like someone before you meet or talk to them . I didn’t think anything of it at first, but when I went to their house in Texas to visit the first time everything was great, but when I went this past year she would only talk and be nice to me in front of my fiancé and when it would just be me helping her with the groceries she didn’t say a word. I would try to make conversation, but it got no where.
*My fiancé and I went to a pre maritual counsler and she explaned to us that we have to separate ourselves from our families and become one in our own bubble, but I feel like I am in this bubble all by myself and I wasn’t sure if I should address this before or after the wedding. Maybe we become in our own bubble once we are married and to do it before hand would be asking too much. Is this something you address before or after marriage? And am I wrong for wanting him to become closer to me and kind of shy away from his parents depending on him? To stand up to them every once in a while. I guess I kind of feel alone, because he seems more supportive to his family then me. Am I being selfish? No need to be harsh I really just want to know so I can make everything all better, whether it be working on my self or working with my fiance to fix how I feel.
Sorry its long.. I kind of needed to vent. ..