So my husband and I live about 6 hours (driving) from his mother and she wants to fly down once a month for about 24-48 hours to see her two grand kids (no problem). We have been married for about 5 years and I've tried really hard to like her and things were okay until the 2nd baby. I've requested she only come when my husband is off from work and available to pick her up from the airport and bring her back because I don't want to make two trips to the airport (20 minutes away) in 24 hours (but i don't want her staying longer). I can't stand to be a lone with her because I find her so boring and we have nothing in common. I would rather be out with other friends or doing things I like to do. She is deathly afraid of the sun and likes to stay indoors (museums, etc...) She is very passive-aggressive and wants all kinds of reassurance she is wanted which drives me crazy. I don't trust her because she twists things I've said and gone behind my back and said things to my husband so I don't even want to have a conversation with her. She loves her grand kids and is an okay grandma. She loves to buy my husband and I gifts and is very generous with her money so I feel so guilty for writing this but for some reason I just can't be around her for very long (without the presence of my husband). My husband says he works too hard and I need to compromise and let her make her monthly visits and I just need to deal with it for 24-48 hours but I really dread this time and feel like getting sick when she comes. I would let her babysit but I don't trust her a lone with my 2 small children. She is very laid back always telling me "it's fine" but I'm too nervous to leave her with them. Is it fair that my husband needs to be around to pick her up from the airport and entertain her?? (my mom only comes to visit about every 2 years so no comparsion there and I never leave my husband a lone with her).
one more thing- she will spend a little time with the kids and then start talking on her phone or reading a book and expect them to be quiet or leave her alone so it's hard to stay in the house. I don't mind museums but I cannot take a baby and a two year old to a museum.
Okay- so a few of you are being really mean and not answering my question. I treat her with such respect and you would never know I have a problem with her. I roll out the red carpet! I asked her not to plan her next trip for her monthly visit because I had a friend coming into town and she privately told my husband that I obviously don't feel comfortable with her coming and made it very clear she was not welcome that month. I had gave birth and wanted some time to see friends and family. My question is I would rather my husband be around to take care of her- is that fair>
one more thing- she will spend a little time with the kids and then start talking on her phone or reading a book and expect them to be quiet or leave her alone so it's hard to stay in the house. I don't mind museums but I cannot take a baby and a two year old to a museum.
Okay- so a few of you are being really mean and not answering my question. I treat her with such respect and you would never know I have a problem with her. I roll out the red carpet! I asked her not to plan her next trip for her monthly visit because I had a friend coming into town and she privately told my husband that I obviously don't feel comfortable with her coming and made it very clear she was not welcome that month. I had gave birth and wanted some time to see friends and family. My question is I would rather my husband be around to take care of her- is that fair>