I'm a 39 year old man and have been married to my wife for almost five years. We have no children getting in the way, and our jobs are pretty low stress for the most part, and we DO work the same schedules and are home together every night and on weekends, My wife is a very attractive woman who enjoys sex very much. The problem is, I just don't want it nearly as much as she does. It's causing some real issues for us.
This has always been an issue between us. For the first few years we were together, we fought about sex often. She likes to have sex most days of the week if I would, but I tend to just not really want it/her more than about twice a week, if I had to put a number to it to give you all an idea. We end up being a 3 day per week sort of couple because she usually isn't satisfied with just once or twice. We don't do it more than once in a day (never have), and I usually don't want sex and won't have sex with her if we've just done it the day before. I just don't have that desire, and that upset her and makes her feel unwanted. she offers to watch adult movies with me, asks me to go to sex shops to buy toys to spice things up for us, offers to act out any fantasy, put on lingerie, etc. to get my attention and get me into it. I wish she wouldn't do these things because I'm not into the movies or the toys, and if she wants to put on lingerie, I may not be in the mood, but then I have to do it anyway because it really hurts her if I turn her down when she's put on something special for me. I just simply don't want sex as much as she does.
I HAVE had my testosterone checked and discovered two years ago that it was really, really low. I started taking medicine for it, and I definitely noticed a pick up in my sex drive and my energy levels. Let's just say that I used to have to almost MAKE myself have sex with my wife a couple times per week, and even though we still don't do it more than about three times in a week, at least now I actually feel like I WANT to be doing it when we do! My Testosterone levels still aren't quite up to where the docs originally told me they wanted it to be, and my levels even dropped back down a little in the past few months, which has affected my sex drive negatively. This is upsetting my wife greatly because we are back to me turning her down for sex and her throwing a fit because she feels so rejected. She has basically told me that she really wants me to get serious about getting those Testosterone levels where they need to be by being diligent about taking my medicine for them because when I don't, it affects our intimate lives so negatively. She feels it's selfish of me to know what the problem is and refuse to regulate my medicine so that the problem will be fixed, especially since we have both seen what happens when my Testosterone levels go closer to where they should be. I just don't feel the need to keep up on the meds all the time just so she can have her sex fix with me. I don't see the point in making sex such a big part of our lives together. I am satisfied with her and happy with our little 2-3 day per week "routine". It's good for me. She says for her it's not necessarily the number of times per week that we do it, but it's more about her knowing that I WANT her, and she says it rarely seems like I truly desire her in that way. She won't even go out to her monthly "girl's night" for wine anymore because it justs upsets her to hear all of her girlfriends complaining about how they can't keep their husbands off of them and how their husbands just want sex every day. She tells me that she feels so upset by that because even though we do it somewhat regularly, she says I have NEVER just come to her lusting for her, and she wishes I would just once in awhile. Not all the time, just now and then.
Is this all normal?! Personally, I think that even though we don't have kids or high pressure jobs, I think that fact that we are having sex 3 times a week like clockwork is pretty darn good! I think that's a lot! Sure, I would prefer to do it a little less, and then I might even want her more, but I still think sex three times a week is great! I really think she is nuts that she gets so upset that I don't want her more than that. I think it's pretty crazy that we are having sex 3 times a week and she's in a tizzy that I'm not chasing her around begging for more sex. She seems to think that I should be wanting her every day. She is one very nice looking woman, but I don't feel the need for her each day with sex!
Guys, am I right? Do any of you that are in your late 30's or early 40's really still want sex every day, or even close to that?! Wouldn't you think that your wife/girlfriend was crazy if she was getting it from you 3 days per week and still wanting you to want her more than that?
Maybe I a
This has always been an issue between us. For the first few years we were together, we fought about sex often. She likes to have sex most days of the week if I would, but I tend to just not really want it/her more than about twice a week, if I had to put a number to it to give you all an idea. We end up being a 3 day per week sort of couple because she usually isn't satisfied with just once or twice. We don't do it more than once in a day (never have), and I usually don't want sex and won't have sex with her if we've just done it the day before. I just don't have that desire, and that upset her and makes her feel unwanted. she offers to watch adult movies with me, asks me to go to sex shops to buy toys to spice things up for us, offers to act out any fantasy, put on lingerie, etc. to get my attention and get me into it. I wish she wouldn't do these things because I'm not into the movies or the toys, and if she wants to put on lingerie, I may not be in the mood, but then I have to do it anyway because it really hurts her if I turn her down when she's put on something special for me. I just simply don't want sex as much as she does.
I HAVE had my testosterone checked and discovered two years ago that it was really, really low. I started taking medicine for it, and I definitely noticed a pick up in my sex drive and my energy levels. Let's just say that I used to have to almost MAKE myself have sex with my wife a couple times per week, and even though we still don't do it more than about three times in a week, at least now I actually feel like I WANT to be doing it when we do! My Testosterone levels still aren't quite up to where the docs originally told me they wanted it to be, and my levels even dropped back down a little in the past few months, which has affected my sex drive negatively. This is upsetting my wife greatly because we are back to me turning her down for sex and her throwing a fit because she feels so rejected. She has basically told me that she really wants me to get serious about getting those Testosterone levels where they need to be by being diligent about taking my medicine for them because when I don't, it affects our intimate lives so negatively. She feels it's selfish of me to know what the problem is and refuse to regulate my medicine so that the problem will be fixed, especially since we have both seen what happens when my Testosterone levels go closer to where they should be. I just don't feel the need to keep up on the meds all the time just so she can have her sex fix with me. I don't see the point in making sex such a big part of our lives together. I am satisfied with her and happy with our little 2-3 day per week "routine". It's good for me. She says for her it's not necessarily the number of times per week that we do it, but it's more about her knowing that I WANT her, and she says it rarely seems like I truly desire her in that way. She won't even go out to her monthly "girl's night" for wine anymore because it justs upsets her to hear all of her girlfriends complaining about how they can't keep their husbands off of them and how their husbands just want sex every day. She tells me that she feels so upset by that because even though we do it somewhat regularly, she says I have NEVER just come to her lusting for her, and she wishes I would just once in awhile. Not all the time, just now and then.
Is this all normal?! Personally, I think that even though we don't have kids or high pressure jobs, I think that fact that we are having sex 3 times a week like clockwork is pretty darn good! I think that's a lot! Sure, I would prefer to do it a little less, and then I might even want her more, but I still think sex three times a week is great! I really think she is nuts that she gets so upset that I don't want her more than that. I think it's pretty crazy that we are having sex 3 times a week and she's in a tizzy that I'm not chasing her around begging for more sex. She seems to think that I should be wanting her every day. She is one very nice looking woman, but I don't feel the need for her each day with sex!
Guys, am I right? Do any of you that are in your late 30's or early 40's really still want sex every day, or even close to that?! Wouldn't you think that your wife/girlfriend was crazy if she was getting it from you 3 days per week and still wanting you to want her more than that?
Maybe I a