had 3 overdoes about 5 weeks ago, and i have art therapy and see a council ling, and i lost a lot of my friends and i lost a lot of respect for myself.
my friends say i wanna know why you did it like 1,000 questions and i say i cant tell you because i hardly know myself. and they don't understand it. i mean some people more than others but, i feel trapped and i have anxiety attacks, and i sit in my room thinking why i feel so depressed and alone and it only makes me worse cos i think oh god this might be wrong with me or that might be. and i have walls and the more people push me to ask i push away from the world a lot more. and i have problems where i look in my head and i don't know what they are. now im starting to hear things and a bit of seeing things that's not really happening. and my anxiety attacks i collapse after them and it makes me feel ill. i went to the doctors and i have IBS ( irratated bowls syndrome ) and they say it's from stress and emonital stuff, and i drank a full bottle of vodka and i was paraletic but it made me feel better. i dont want art therapy or anything i wanna be left on my own but the longer i leave it my hearing things and seeing things and me going crazy in my own home gets worse and everything else does, little problems get on top of each other and it makes another big problem. and people say a 15 year old isn't stressed and they judge me on what ive done, so now people have done that and said the damage i can't forgive myself for what iv'e done untill they do if you get me ? they want it all in black and white.
can some body please tell me whats going off ?
my friends say i wanna know why you did it like 1,000 questions and i say i cant tell you because i hardly know myself. and they don't understand it. i mean some people more than others but, i feel trapped and i have anxiety attacks, and i sit in my room thinking why i feel so depressed and alone and it only makes me worse cos i think oh god this might be wrong with me or that might be. and i have walls and the more people push me to ask i push away from the world a lot more. and i have problems where i look in my head and i don't know what they are. now im starting to hear things and a bit of seeing things that's not really happening. and my anxiety attacks i collapse after them and it makes me feel ill. i went to the doctors and i have IBS ( irratated bowls syndrome ) and they say it's from stress and emonital stuff, and i drank a full bottle of vodka and i was paraletic but it made me feel better. i dont want art therapy or anything i wanna be left on my own but the longer i leave it my hearing things and seeing things and me going crazy in my own home gets worse and everything else does, little problems get on top of each other and it makes another big problem. and people say a 15 year old isn't stressed and they judge me on what ive done, so now people have done that and said the damage i can't forgive myself for what iv'e done untill they do if you get me ? they want it all in black and white.
can some body please tell me whats going off ?