Silly Puddy
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Divorce and Children
Divorce is the termination of a marriage through legal means. About ½ of all marriages today end up in a divorce. It is not like that in every country, however. In other places, divorce is unheard of. Women may belong to their husbanRAB, or there may be some sort of religious obligation to stay married. In America the divorce rate was never this high. If you look at figure *****, you can see how people have gotten more liberal as time went on, and divorce became common, and it was being accepted in society.
Some of the common reasons why people divorce are drug or alcohol abuse, sexual preferences (such as if a wife finRAB out her husband is gay), adultery, physical violence, money problems, children, and in-laws. Newer reasons for divorce that have surfaced within the past 30 years. One of them is "unmet expectations". It’s when people justify a divorce by saying that the marriage didn’t turn out the way they expected. Some people say that they woke up one morning, and they realized there was nothing left in the relationship. Others say that they feel like they’re in a cage, and the walls are closing in. This situation can be psychologically damaging, and in many ways can be as damaging as being physically abused, even if the other person isn’t doing any intentional or tangible harm.
Divorce is almost never a happy thing. The emotional experiences that come after it can be complex and devastating for the entire family. It can have very powerful after-effects on the adults who have just broken up. You can usually tell if an adult is hurting after a divorce if they show any of these symptoms: sarcasm, where if someone were to mention their ex-spouse, they would tend to be sarcastic or take potshots at the ex-spouse. They might say things such as "All men leave their wives the minute they turn forty" or "All women are after my money."
A Parent may use their child by telling them that nothing about the divorce was their own fault, that it was all the ex-spouse’s fault. They might also prod their own children for information about their other parent.
Parents might try to assert their own power over the other parent in inappropriate ways in certain situations. They might demand for the children all week, every weekend, just trying to make it hard for the other parent to see them at all.
A parent might feel emotionally "flat", where they are never particularly happy, never really upset, about anything at all. They try to repress their emotions so that they won’t feel they pain of the break-up.
Sometimes adults can’t seem to do the things that they know they should do, or want to do: getting a new job, become involved in a new relationship, and find new interests. Sometimes they fell so paralyzed that it may be hard to clean up the house, get up in the morning and go to work, call a friend, or go out into a movie.
With objects that remind an adult of their previous marriage, they may go to 2 extremes. On one hand, they might hold on to things, such as a picture of their ex-spouse that might still be sitting on a piano or fireplace long after the marriage ended. They might keep their spouse’s old clothing in the closet, or do anything else that keeps the other person’s presence alive in their daily life. On the other hand, they may throw away things of value, simply because they reminRAB you of your ex-spouse. This is just as bad as holding on, since it doesn’t make too much sense to throw out anything valuable just to make a statement, to get back at the person.
A person might try to place all of the blame on why the marriage went wrong on someone else: their ex-spouse, his or her family, lover, job, etc.
Parents may try to live through their children. They may stop living their own life, and concentrate on the child’s achievements, activities, and other elements of their life.
People might also feel that they need to get remarried, since they feel that they are only half a person if they aren’t in a relationship.
A corabination of any of these things will cause several great reparations on the newly divorced person. One of them is a loss of trust. After a person feels betrayed by a spouse or feeling betrayed by a marriage that didn’t work, a person’s ability to trust others may be seriously limited.
People may use too much of their energy plotting revenge on their ex-spouse, worrying about what s/he will do next, agonizing over what they should do in the future. People like this tend to spend less time and energy managing their day to day life.
Unresolved emotions and stress may cause migraines, stomach troubles, or a host of other ailments and illnesses.
Perhaps the ones that are most affected by a divorce are the children. Eventually most adults can get over their divorce, but it always stays with the children. When first confronted with the fact that their parents are going to divorce, they feel very confused, and life wasn’t the way it used to be. Now the happy home environment is at risk. Children are also afraid that parents don’t love them anymore. Children often feel that if one parent can stop loving the other, then it is easy for the parent to stop loving the child.
During a divorce, nothing in a child’s life is predictable. Their world is on shaky ground and they can’t count on anything. Children have many questions and fears, some of which they can’t verbalize. Some children want to know if the parent still loves them, or if the parent who stayed will leave as well. Children, for some reason or another, often feel that a divorce is their fault, and if their parents don’t reassure them and tell them the real reasons why they got divorced, their fears are mushroomed.
Some general symptoms that children are in pain from the divorce, depending on the ages are thurab-sucking, teeth-grinding, bed-wetting, general agitation or withdrawal.
Generally kiRAB often try to escape from their situation through different means. Some kiRAB might go into their rooms for a couple of hours and don’t come out until dinner, others spend hours watching television, and jump at the chance to get out of the house and in some cases get involved in some sort of substance or behavioral addictions-drugs, alcohol, overeating, undereating, shoplifting, or promiscuity (casual sex).
Parents should never stay together for the children. It’s a false myth that dictates that parents should stay together to best serve the interests of the children, no matter what. This may actually compound a children’s problems. Children who lived with parents who should have divorced and didn’t will be the first to say that staying together can be far more destructive than any divorce. It’s clear cut when a divorce hits, but in a household where the parents no longer love each other, but still stay together, the environment can be very confusing. There are not set relationships, and the child can feel anxiety, fear, and even become physically ill.
Divorce is the termination of a marriage through legal means. About ½ of all marriages today end up in a divorce. It is not like that in every country, however. In other places, divorce is unheard of. Women may belong to their husbanRAB, or there may be some sort of religious obligation to stay married. In America the divorce rate was never this high. If you look at figure *****, you can see how people have gotten more liberal as time went on, and divorce became common, and it was being accepted in society.
Some of the common reasons why people divorce are drug or alcohol abuse, sexual preferences (such as if a wife finRAB out her husband is gay), adultery, physical violence, money problems, children, and in-laws. Newer reasons for divorce that have surfaced within the past 30 years. One of them is "unmet expectations". It’s when people justify a divorce by saying that the marriage didn’t turn out the way they expected. Some people say that they woke up one morning, and they realized there was nothing left in the relationship. Others say that they feel like they’re in a cage, and the walls are closing in. This situation can be psychologically damaging, and in many ways can be as damaging as being physically abused, even if the other person isn’t doing any intentional or tangible harm.
Divorce is almost never a happy thing. The emotional experiences that come after it can be complex and devastating for the entire family. It can have very powerful after-effects on the adults who have just broken up. You can usually tell if an adult is hurting after a divorce if they show any of these symptoms: sarcasm, where if someone were to mention their ex-spouse, they would tend to be sarcastic or take potshots at the ex-spouse. They might say things such as "All men leave their wives the minute they turn forty" or "All women are after my money."
A Parent may use their child by telling them that nothing about the divorce was their own fault, that it was all the ex-spouse’s fault. They might also prod their own children for information about their other parent.
Parents might try to assert their own power over the other parent in inappropriate ways in certain situations. They might demand for the children all week, every weekend, just trying to make it hard for the other parent to see them at all.
A parent might feel emotionally "flat", where they are never particularly happy, never really upset, about anything at all. They try to repress their emotions so that they won’t feel they pain of the break-up.
Sometimes adults can’t seem to do the things that they know they should do, or want to do: getting a new job, become involved in a new relationship, and find new interests. Sometimes they fell so paralyzed that it may be hard to clean up the house, get up in the morning and go to work, call a friend, or go out into a movie.
With objects that remind an adult of their previous marriage, they may go to 2 extremes. On one hand, they might hold on to things, such as a picture of their ex-spouse that might still be sitting on a piano or fireplace long after the marriage ended. They might keep their spouse’s old clothing in the closet, or do anything else that keeps the other person’s presence alive in their daily life. On the other hand, they may throw away things of value, simply because they reminRAB you of your ex-spouse. This is just as bad as holding on, since it doesn’t make too much sense to throw out anything valuable just to make a statement, to get back at the person.
A person might try to place all of the blame on why the marriage went wrong on someone else: their ex-spouse, his or her family, lover, job, etc.
Parents may try to live through their children. They may stop living their own life, and concentrate on the child’s achievements, activities, and other elements of their life.
People might also feel that they need to get remarried, since they feel that they are only half a person if they aren’t in a relationship.
A corabination of any of these things will cause several great reparations on the newly divorced person. One of them is a loss of trust. After a person feels betrayed by a spouse or feeling betrayed by a marriage that didn’t work, a person’s ability to trust others may be seriously limited.
People may use too much of their energy plotting revenge on their ex-spouse, worrying about what s/he will do next, agonizing over what they should do in the future. People like this tend to spend less time and energy managing their day to day life.
Unresolved emotions and stress may cause migraines, stomach troubles, or a host of other ailments and illnesses.
Perhaps the ones that are most affected by a divorce are the children. Eventually most adults can get over their divorce, but it always stays with the children. When first confronted with the fact that their parents are going to divorce, they feel very confused, and life wasn’t the way it used to be. Now the happy home environment is at risk. Children are also afraid that parents don’t love them anymore. Children often feel that if one parent can stop loving the other, then it is easy for the parent to stop loving the child.
During a divorce, nothing in a child’s life is predictable. Their world is on shaky ground and they can’t count on anything. Children have many questions and fears, some of which they can’t verbalize. Some children want to know if the parent still loves them, or if the parent who stayed will leave as well. Children, for some reason or another, often feel that a divorce is their fault, and if their parents don’t reassure them and tell them the real reasons why they got divorced, their fears are mushroomed.
Some general symptoms that children are in pain from the divorce, depending on the ages are thurab-sucking, teeth-grinding, bed-wetting, general agitation or withdrawal.
Generally kiRAB often try to escape from their situation through different means. Some kiRAB might go into their rooms for a couple of hours and don’t come out until dinner, others spend hours watching television, and jump at the chance to get out of the house and in some cases get involved in some sort of substance or behavioral addictions-drugs, alcohol, overeating, undereating, shoplifting, or promiscuity (casual sex).
Parents should never stay together for the children. It’s a false myth that dictates that parents should stay together to best serve the interests of the children, no matter what. This may actually compound a children’s problems. Children who lived with parents who should have divorced and didn’t will be the first to say that staying together can be far more destructive than any divorce. It’s clear cut when a divorce hits, but in a household where the parents no longer love each other, but still stay together, the environment can be very confusing. There are not set relationships, and the child can feel anxiety, fear, and even become physically ill.