Discussing your past with a new but serious relationship.?

[TJ]

I just asked a similar question on this board a few minutes ago and it brought up a bigger question. Thank you all for you insight.

Here is my question now. What do you think my girlfriend intentions were?

Here is the little back ground you going to need. We are both in our 40's she was married most of her adult life I was only married a few years.

She told me about her past even though I told her I'd rather not hear about it. She has only been with 3 guys total to include her ex-husband. Her details were a very detailed and little unnerving at times, one guys was married and claimed he was going through a seperation but really wasn't. That lasted 4 years. WOW! I'd stop her and a couple days later should bring stuff back up. She went into great details with names, there jobs, what they drove, stuff about their kids, how she meet them, how they broke up, problem with their exs,but no sexual information. See even told me about guys she only causally dated with similar details.

Now comes me. I was a bit of a whore in my past. I honestly could not count how many woman I've been with. It's been a lot. She knew I had a reputation before we ever went out. I on the other had have not volunteered any information. A little general information if it was relevant to the conversation at hand. I've asked her if there is anything she would like to know about me. She has always told me no. She actually knowns that I dated a couple people she has known before we met.

She has finally stopped telling me about her past. It took a few hints and a couple uncomfortable talks to finally get her to stop.

Do you think this was a test? Or maybe she wanted me to talk too? I'll admit I was bad so I was'nt going to say a word unless asked. Also you girls ask around? Maybe she knows or heard some stuff. But I'm not volunteering anything. I want to keep this onel.

 

[old beatnik]

My wife was in a street gang when she was in high school. She has scars from knife wounds on her cheek, arms, legs, and sides, and scars from cigarette burns on her boobs, to show for it. I have now told you everything she has ever told me about that time in her life. We met after college, after she had escaped that life. She has never said one word about her past relationships. Not even innocent ones like first boyfriend, first kiss, first dance, etc. All she ever says is, "That was all before you." And she is right. It is HER past, and she doesn't want to talk about it. I would just tell your girlfriend that your past doesn't matter. That was all before her. And she is all that matters to you now.

 

[Annabella]

It doesn't necessarily mean she was trying to get you to talk. Some people just like talking about themselves & their lives. It's a way of sometimes venting, sometimes coming to terms with things, and sometimes just talking to talk. I have a hyperactive mind & can't tell a short story to save my life. One thing reminds me of another thing which reminds me of another thing & so on. I'll tell you what color my ex's walls were just randomly in the middle of a sentence LOL! In my opinion, because I'm the same way, I think it just means that she's comfortable with herself & her life & has nothing at all to hide & doesn't see a reason not to disclose certain things.

 

[kyle l]

Yea man, sounds like she was phishing...maybe. The bottom line is thta you two either have to shut up about your past(s) and or just live with the fact that her vagina has been permeated by the cusps of other penises. It's tough; I know.