I wrote an application essay (for the scholarship), and am revising it. it would help a lot if anyone who has gone thorugh the experience, or who knows what to write could tell me what i'm missing and such. i'd really appreciate it, it would help so much.
The main driving factor in my wanting to become a Naval Officer is the drive to lead. I yearn to direct, to oversee, and to have responsibility. I want to bring out the best in those who I am directing, to benefit the mission and our country. I am an extremely resourceful person and draw on the unique abilities of those I am leading, particularly in high-stress environments, in which adaptation is key. Honor, Courage, and Commitment, as well as LDRSHIP were traits I grew up with in a military family. These traits which now are my core being.
Our nation’s cause is one I firmly believe in. One I wish to contribute to in every available way. I believe the best way of doing this is by serving in the military. I chose to serve as an Officer, because I am most successful in positions of leadership. I strive to find the most challenging option available to me, no matter the system I am in. Additionally, I always push to become a person of authority and responsibility in what I do, and lead the people around me to overcome problems we face as a team. I chose the Navy in particular because I am a systematic and logical person, and I believe these innate skills are more so a core part of the Navy than its sister services. The Navy will test me on a level entirely foreign to civilians. The Navy will bring out and develop skills which I did not even know I had. The Navy will find the real me.
The main driving factor in my wanting to become a Naval Officer is the drive to lead. I yearn to direct, to oversee, and to have responsibility. I want to bring out the best in those who I am directing, to benefit the mission and our country. I am an extremely resourceful person and draw on the unique abilities of those I am leading, particularly in high-stress environments, in which adaptation is key. Honor, Courage, and Commitment, as well as LDRSHIP were traits I grew up with in a military family. These traits which now are my core being.
Our nation’s cause is one I firmly believe in. One I wish to contribute to in every available way. I believe the best way of doing this is by serving in the military. I chose to serve as an Officer, because I am most successful in positions of leadership. I strive to find the most challenging option available to me, no matter the system I am in. Additionally, I always push to become a person of authority and responsibility in what I do, and lead the people around me to overcome problems we face as a team. I chose the Navy in particular because I am a systematic and logical person, and I believe these innate skills are more so a core part of the Navy than its sister services. The Navy will test me on a level entirely foreign to civilians. The Navy will bring out and develop skills which I did not even know I had. The Navy will find the real me.