R
Ruth
Guest
I am in a really awkward situation right now. I am a VERY shy girl, and I basically have one close friend, and two other friends through this friend that I'm not really close to. My main friend moved away for college three years ago- i've been able to maintain a dismal, but existent social life because of the remaining friends I have. However, of these two friends, one has a boyfriend and the other has another close friend- i have made no new friends and have had trouble making friends in the past, a lot of trouble really. I think it's because I'm naturally extremely sensitive, and I was teased a lot during middle school about my appearance by a guy i liked, and it wasn't because he liked me, trust me.
so, now i have a lot of trouble relating to people because i can't open up at all. i don't know how to joke with people, and i think i might have been more expressive before fifth grade because i was a bizarre kid before junior high- did and said weird things (fun, weird things). i try to just be nice and hope that's enough, make pleasant conversation, be happy, smile, but i'm visibly awkward and my awkwardness makes others uncomfortable. this has the effect of reaffirming negative thoughts because people react how i expect them to- with disinterest and avoidance.
i don't really know what i am going to do because my friends are moving on and i am...not. i've been in many situations where friend making would seem inevitable- sports in particular- still i've always been the odd one out, just different and quiet and consequently not fun to be around.
i feel anxious about my future, socially. i want to be open, and connected to others, but i've tried so hard for so long and nothing is working. i even saw a therapist (secretly) and it just made me more uptight about it. i'm embarrassed when my brother and sister are always having friends over or going out, and i'm always in my room with the doors locked. it doesn't hurt that my siblings are both charismatic and very attractive. i feel ashamed and really retarded.
what can i do when i feel like i've tried everything? i don't know how i got to this point, and i feel like my life is going to pass me by and it's going to be a miserable and embarrassing experience. there is nothing to enjoy when you're always by yourself? there is only so much that can entertain you, or more accurately put, distract you.
do you know anyone like me from your past? what happened to them?
so, now i have a lot of trouble relating to people because i can't open up at all. i don't know how to joke with people, and i think i might have been more expressive before fifth grade because i was a bizarre kid before junior high- did and said weird things (fun, weird things). i try to just be nice and hope that's enough, make pleasant conversation, be happy, smile, but i'm visibly awkward and my awkwardness makes others uncomfortable. this has the effect of reaffirming negative thoughts because people react how i expect them to- with disinterest and avoidance.
i don't really know what i am going to do because my friends are moving on and i am...not. i've been in many situations where friend making would seem inevitable- sports in particular- still i've always been the odd one out, just different and quiet and consequently not fun to be around.
i feel anxious about my future, socially. i want to be open, and connected to others, but i've tried so hard for so long and nothing is working. i even saw a therapist (secretly) and it just made me more uptight about it. i'm embarrassed when my brother and sister are always having friends over or going out, and i'm always in my room with the doors locked. it doesn't hurt that my siblings are both charismatic and very attractive. i feel ashamed and really retarded.
what can i do when i feel like i've tried everything? i don't know how i got to this point, and i feel like my life is going to pass me by and it's going to be a miserable and embarrassing experience. there is nothing to enjoy when you're always by yourself? there is only so much that can entertain you, or more accurately put, distract you.
do you know anyone like me from your past? what happened to them?