I was 16, and had just come out as gay a little while before. pretty dang early.
so I got a boyfriend for several months, and then drama happened and we couldn't talk for 2 months legally, and decided to honor it.
He breaks up with me immediately after this, and I subsequently lose all of my friends.
all.
every last person, and it takes me no less than 3 months after this event.
At the time I think I had a psychotic break, because I was convinced everyone i knew was talking about me, plotting against me, and my car was vandalized twice, both times i blamed my best friend who i was still somewhat close with at the time. I retreated into my house and barely talked because of fear that people were thinking about me.
Also I had the clear thought at one time that I could read the minds of my friends and some other people, and always they were saying horrible things about me, threatening me sometimes.
it's been over a year since this, and I've had many great experiences, but am not able to maintain even somewhat stable relationships like a normal 17 yo is able to.
and i still routinely have these thoughts, although they are starting to become less intense.
Put a thumb on my issue so I can fix it if you could, I don't want to be a hermit! Ah!
also, as a side note; is there such a thing as marijuana induced psychosis??
since I quit, the disorganization and extreme panic (when NOT under the influence) has ceased.
I started taking more pills and pot when I was increasingly alone, maybe a form of self medication.
Tried LSD twice very recently, and I think it might be helping me to at least talk about these things, and it's getting rid of much of my paranoia. During the days&weeks after using acid, I socialize more and am in more in tune with reality. ( and this seems to have some kind of permanent effect, I am able to analyze things much better lately, go more in depth in exams, essays, talk more etc. )
However; I am very concerned with the illegal nature of the drug, no matter how helpful it is to me. I've heard of kids going away for a long time for acid.
if anyone answers this thanks for putting up with the major ramblage.
so I got a boyfriend for several months, and then drama happened and we couldn't talk for 2 months legally, and decided to honor it.
He breaks up with me immediately after this, and I subsequently lose all of my friends.
all.
every last person, and it takes me no less than 3 months after this event.
At the time I think I had a psychotic break, because I was convinced everyone i knew was talking about me, plotting against me, and my car was vandalized twice, both times i blamed my best friend who i was still somewhat close with at the time. I retreated into my house and barely talked because of fear that people were thinking about me.
Also I had the clear thought at one time that I could read the minds of my friends and some other people, and always they were saying horrible things about me, threatening me sometimes.
it's been over a year since this, and I've had many great experiences, but am not able to maintain even somewhat stable relationships like a normal 17 yo is able to.
and i still routinely have these thoughts, although they are starting to become less intense.
Put a thumb on my issue so I can fix it if you could, I don't want to be a hermit! Ah!
also, as a side note; is there such a thing as marijuana induced psychosis??
since I quit, the disorganization and extreme panic (when NOT under the influence) has ceased.
I started taking more pills and pot when I was increasingly alone, maybe a form of self medication.
Tried LSD twice very recently, and I think it might be helping me to at least talk about these things, and it's getting rid of much of my paranoia. During the days&weeks after using acid, I socialize more and am in more in tune with reality. ( and this seems to have some kind of permanent effect, I am able to analyze things much better lately, go more in depth in exams, essays, talk more etc. )
However; I am very concerned with the illegal nature of the drug, no matter how helpful it is to me. I've heard of kids going away for a long time for acid.
if anyone answers this thanks for putting up with the major ramblage.