Yeah.. Anyone who has gone through it knows what I mean. The worst part is, I can't talk to anyone that I know and care about, as that has already burned me once. So I keep it to myself. I know it isn't healthy but... In my mind its better than losing someone I care about again. I've gone to a psychiatrist, even took the fucking medications. Didn't help. In fact, I felt like I was turning my back on one of my beliefs, which was that people didn't really need those medications, that they were only to make people think they were getting better. Which made me worse. So I started doing drugs again, because it used to make me not depressed. (Not better per se, just not depressed. There is a difference.) But I don't want to be addicted to them, so I don't use them often. Half my life has become sitting in front of a fuckin computer trying to decide the best way to just get the fuck away from everyone I know. I've called suicide numbers in the past, but it only made things worse when they called back and my father answered the phone. (Made for a LOVELY day I'll tell you.) I don't even know what it is that depresses me. I'll be fine. Fuck, earlier today I was about to have sex, and I just got depressed for no reason. (Which made thingsreally awkward, as she is a good friend of mine.) I used to find that talking helped, but as someone I cared about couldn't handle it anymore, so she told me never to talk to her again (Girl I was supposed to marry.), I don't particularly want to talk to my close friends about it anymore. So now I am reduced to just ranting on a website. I'm fuckin pathetic.
Depression Sucks
- Thread starter dmeyer153
- Start date
Rant away. Believe me, I'm living thru it now. I don't think it really is something that goes away. I think we need to learn to deal with it better. Did you ever see "The Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crow (I think that is how you spell it). His issues were related with psychosis. However, I think he realized it was not going away and he could adapt. I think that is what we need to do, to adapt and conquer. It's not something people understand unless they go thru it themselves. I was medicated, I tried it for over a year, I was so blunted. It did help talking to professionals. I wanted the medication to keep me from crying for no apparent reason. However, the doctors thought it was more important to sedate me for some reason. My thoughts may not be rational, but I know the difference from what is real and what is fantasy. I didn't understand what was going on. and I know that if I told anyone "my" truth they'd lock me up for being crazy.
Brett Andrews
New member
I've never had diagnosed depression, never been on meds for it, but about 7-8 months ago a good mate of mine (kid i grew up with) died and after that i went through a few months of depression but i never wanted to talk to anyone cause I thaught I always had to be 'the strong one' for my friends, but after a month and a bit trying to hide it i started taking drugs, pot, meth, heroin, anything i could get my hands on, but it didn't help so i talked to the one person i trusted most and they told me to 'get over it' so i know what you mean about not being able to talk about it, the one year aniversary is coming up soon, dunno how I'm gonna cope.
But ranting on the net is alot easier than talking to people because they aren't close to whats going on, it's always easier to talk to someone who has nothing to do with you most of the time or the problem.
But ranting on the net is alot easier than talking to people because they aren't close to whats going on, it's always easier to talk to someone who has nothing to do with you most of the time or the problem.
I've dealt with depression as well. Never medicated even if I should have been. My belief is that depression is there to tell you that you're doing something wrong. Either you did something morally wrong, or you're not going the right direction with your life. Talking about it with others is one of the worst things you can do because it's only you beating up on yourself. Again, thinking it about it to yourself is also something wrong. Do something! Don't just talk about or think about it, you have to go out and fix it. Change your ruitine, eat new foods, meet new girls. It all helps.
You say you'll be fine.
But will you?
Yes, I have said the same thing. And I've struggled with the same thing for 22 years. I've taken drugs for it. People told me to just "get over it." But it's not that easy. In fact, it's impossible.
So, I stopped talking to people.
You need to do something to get your mind off it. Go for a walk. Or a drive. I know, you might not feel like it at first, but once you're out, you'll be glad you are.
Worked for me.
But will you?
Yes, I have said the same thing. And I've struggled with the same thing for 22 years. I've taken drugs for it. People told me to just "get over it." But it's not that easy. In fact, it's impossible.
So, I stopped talking to people.
You need to do something to get your mind off it. Go for a walk. Or a drive. I know, you might not feel like it at first, but once you're out, you'll be glad you are.
Worked for me.
I'm a high school senior and I know most people go through some sort of "senioritis" but I'm seriously to the point where I actually don't enjoy any part of my life. I don't have the motivation to practice piano, I don't want to do school work, I don't want to call people. Luckily my friends are awesome and at least somewhat salvage my life. But seriously, I am so fed up with everything. I don't really think anything will be accomplished by me writing this, but I guess I have a similar problem to the original poster where I don't really want to talk about it with people. My parents are great parents, but they are fairly annoying people, so I don't really feel like talking to them. And I don't really know what I would say to my friends if I tried to talk to them about it. Also, I love my friends, but I don't really think they'd be able to help. I have gone through similar phases throughout high school and I am pretty sure this will pass, so I'm not desperate. I know that my parents are supportive so they'd get me professional help if I needed it.
After writing this I realize I have pretty much nothing to be depressed about. But I still hate everything.
After writing this I realize I have pretty much nothing to be depressed about. But I still hate everything.
I know there are others out there with depression. And I know that some have it a whole lot worse than me. Which makes me feel like I'm just bitching for no reason, because I know there are people who read this and say "Oh yeah well I have 'X' to deal with, get over it bitch."
I just wish I knew what the hell was wrong with me in the first place man.
I just wish I knew what the hell was wrong with me in the first place man.
midnight_sky01
New member
Yeah, depresion sucks. The past few months I have been feeling under the weather (emotionally). Two days ago I felt awful, and for no reason at all I started crying, and I couldn't stop for quite a while. Even the littlest thing, whether or not it was meant to offend me, would set me off and make me cry.
The next day I felt somewhat better, after a long niht of much needed sleep, but I have still been feeling down in the dumps.
I hope you feel better.
The next day I felt somewhat better, after a long niht of much needed sleep, but I have still been feeling down in the dumps.
I hope you feel better.
Depression is hard but you will get past it. You just need to find something or someone to help you. I found that the phone lines were just condescending and that would annoy me and make it all worse. I know this sounds stupid but I think the thing that got me was my dog. Not only did she give me some thing to do but she make you feel like your living for something and all.
(I know I too young to be really depressed, but thats what I think from what I know of life.) So just get better soon will you.
(I know I too young to be really depressed, but thats what I think from what I know of life.) So just get better soon will you.
You are never too young to have depression. The most important thing is to recognize it and deal with it. It's just a slump. "This to will pass". I know a regular exercise routine will do wonders; getting focused on fixing yourself will help; realizing everything is not in your control helps; also realizing most people don't know what real shits they are and realizing they can't really help it helps; and knowing you are a pretty terrific person helps. Good luck.
legitimate junkiee
New member
Ugh--depression! I have been dealing with that crap for years. It's like a little devil that you can't shake and sometimes it's worse than others.
I once read a book by Dr Dwayne Dyer called "your erroneous zones"
It's a great read for depression--anyways there was a part in the book that I use to this day---and by damn IT WORKS! I'll share this with you and take it for what it's worth.
When you have that depression feeling and nothing you can do can shake it (this may sound stupid). Picture the "bad thoughts/feeling" as a recording tape in your mind which actually it kinda is ! The "BAD depressive thought" is an old cassette tape playing over and over and you want to remove the "negative" tape as it plays, you want to stop the "bad" feeling as this "negative" tape plays on and on....
Say to yourself and picture this tape playing in your head "erase that negative tape" and keep saying it to yourself (even outloud) "erase that negative tape"
Keep doing this and I'll be damned but I talked to others that have tried Dr Dyer's method and it actually works!
Hope this helps some!
I once read a book by Dr Dwayne Dyer called "your erroneous zones"
It's a great read for depression--anyways there was a part in the book that I use to this day---and by damn IT WORKS! I'll share this with you and take it for what it's worth.
When you have that depression feeling and nothing you can do can shake it (this may sound stupid). Picture the "bad thoughts/feeling" as a recording tape in your mind which actually it kinda is ! The "BAD depressive thought" is an old cassette tape playing over and over and you want to remove the "negative" tape as it plays, you want to stop the "bad" feeling as this "negative" tape plays on and on....
Say to yourself and picture this tape playing in your head "erase that negative tape" and keep saying it to yourself (even outloud) "erase that negative tape"
Keep doing this and I'll be damned but I talked to others that have tried Dr Dyer's method and it actually works!
Hope this helps some!
matthewtmadden
New member
My little sister is very depressed at the moment (she's 15, turning 16 next month). My father is also depressed.
My father's job is to educate doctors on the pharmaceutical drugs they give to their patients (He works for GlaxoSmithKline, or GSK). Because of this, my sister and I know quite a bit about some medications.
You had mentioned that you had tried drugs and that they made it worse. The thing with anti-depressants is that you must take them for at least 6 months for any noticeable difference. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain (I believe it's a shortage of serotonin, but don't quote me on that), which the drugs work to slowly correct. HOWEVER, drugs work best when taken while talking to a psychologist/counselor/therapist/psychiatrist at the same time. You mentioned you'd gone to a psychiatrist-you might want to try a counselor or therapist. Psychiatrists are qualified to prescribe medication, yes, but their psychological school of thought tends towards using medication to fix psychological problems, with a little therapy. You might want to try a psychologist for therapy, while sticking to your regular doctor for any medication you might need.
But since you stopped taking the anti-depressants, if you do go on them, you will have to take them longer then if you had continued takiing them in the first place. That's the thing with anti-depressants. If you go on and then off them too much, you end up having to take them the rest of your life.
My sister currently sees a therapist (she's got a Ph.D in psychology) once a week, and it's doing wonders for her. She had felt like she had no one to talk to, and she's really connected with this woman.
Best of luck to you though. I struggled with depression about two years ago, but since then, I've become a much angrier person. I found channeling all my hurt and pain into anger at injustice has helped me keep my sanity. I don't recommend it, but I do honestly wish you the best of luck. I have never met you, I know, but I understand and feel for you.
My father's job is to educate doctors on the pharmaceutical drugs they give to their patients (He works for GlaxoSmithKline, or GSK). Because of this, my sister and I know quite a bit about some medications.
You had mentioned that you had tried drugs and that they made it worse. The thing with anti-depressants is that you must take them for at least 6 months for any noticeable difference. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain (I believe it's a shortage of serotonin, but don't quote me on that), which the drugs work to slowly correct. HOWEVER, drugs work best when taken while talking to a psychologist/counselor/therapist/psychiatrist at the same time. You mentioned you'd gone to a psychiatrist-you might want to try a counselor or therapist. Psychiatrists are qualified to prescribe medication, yes, but their psychological school of thought tends towards using medication to fix psychological problems, with a little therapy. You might want to try a psychologist for therapy, while sticking to your regular doctor for any medication you might need.
But since you stopped taking the anti-depressants, if you do go on them, you will have to take them longer then if you had continued takiing them in the first place. That's the thing with anti-depressants. If you go on and then off them too much, you end up having to take them the rest of your life.
My sister currently sees a therapist (she's got a Ph.D in psychology) once a week, and it's doing wonders for her. She had felt like she had no one to talk to, and she's really connected with this woman.
Best of luck to you though. I struggled with depression about two years ago, but since then, I've become a much angrier person. I found channeling all my hurt and pain into anger at injustice has helped me keep my sanity. I don't recommend it, but I do honestly wish you the best of luck. I have never met you, I know, but I understand and feel for you.
tfutrell_crt
New member
ah yes, depression. I still have scars on my wrist from when I was depressed about a month ago.
Butter Bean
New member
Depression is such an odd condition, because it's totally internal. It's hard for other folks to understand or even accept, because they can't see spots or bleeding or other noticeable side affects. Sometimes it feels like one is cocooned in cotton - a self-inflicted cushion from anything outside ourselves.
Whatever is causing the depression is something each individual needs to resolve, but there are methods for coping. One thing that helped me was trying new things - like taking weekend classes in Tai Chi, or fencing, or ballroom dancing, or anything that is totally outside the normal realm of activities. Even if you end up having two left feet, it takes you to a new place, and forces you to think about something different. It adds a dimension to yourself that wasn't there before.
It's a band-aid, not a cure, per se, but it's also a step forward.
Whatever is causing the depression is something each individual needs to resolve, but there are methods for coping. One thing that helped me was trying new things - like taking weekend classes in Tai Chi, or fencing, or ballroom dancing, or anything that is totally outside the normal realm of activities. Even if you end up having two left feet, it takes you to a new place, and forces you to think about something different. It adds a dimension to yourself that wasn't there before.
It's a band-aid, not a cure, per se, but it's also a step forward.