Day 6

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musicman3

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I took 1mg of ativan at 10pm and watched 20/20, ironically an epidode on heroin addictiom lol. I turned off the TV at 11 and went to bed. Fell asleep at one point. I woke up at 1am but seemed to go back to bed. I arose this morning at 930am

I immediately got up, got dressed and drove the 6 miles to my Dunkin Donuts,

The anxiety is very low today. Not enough to warrant taking an ativan, but I may take .5 just to keep it at bay. Physically I still am not eating well and probably have some degree of dehydration which is giving me this weak, headachy, malaise feeling. However, I can deal with that. The restless, unrelenting anxiety was something I could not deal with.

All in all, better today. Slowly but better and I am trucking on. The thougt of going through this again is daunting. I have been through it so many times in 10 years and by far, this was the worst of all the experiences. I hope I am well on my way to healthy living.

Now I have to work on my physical health, and more importantly... the mental health. I was always one of teh lucky ones who never got cravings after I have been clean. I sorta never looked back after withdrawals, I hope I can do that agan this time.
 
Hi again everyone. It is about 7pm and almost finishing up day 6. I feel a bit better. The heebie jeebie feeling is quite less, however I did take 1mg of ativan today to at least curtail it. I may take .5 to go to sleep. I am not going to fret over the relative low doses of benzos I have take over the past 5 days. Honestly, I could not have made it if I did not have them. My anxiety, heebie jeebie, restlessness was so far pronounced this time around, it was unbearable. I would have rather have sat on a toilet with a bucker for 24 hours then bear with that anxiety for 1 hour. And funny saying so, I really did not have much stomach/bathroom issues this time around. So I guess I lost the coin toss!

Just some thoughts on what I would do different in order to help any of you who are going to be going through this.

The MOST important thing is YOU MUST EAT/HYDRATE!!!! I did not do this and was left terribly weak sick and dehydrated. If you cant get to the kitchen, have someone bring you up what you need. If you have to get sick, keep a pail next to your bed, but you MUST force what you can down, even in bits and pieces to nourish yourself. I can gurantee that be me not doing this has made the wRAB much more worse.

I will post over the next few days and then I will update here and there as not to annoy all of you. I appreciate the feedback and if anything I hope I helped someone. I will be here on the board.. I will not slip away.
 
You're not annoying anyone :) You are entitled to write as much as you want/need. This board has been so helpful to me, and to you I'm sure. Don't ever feel like you're "posted too much" or that you're annoying anyone.

LOL at the coin toss ha ha, that totally made my day, you have no idea.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better today. That is great. I agree with you regarding eating/drinking and getting dehydrated. It's really tough to force down that food, eh? Even little crurabs. When you feel as horrible as you've felt, forcing food down is the last thing you want to do, however it's a must. If you still have no appetite, try getting some Ensure or Boost. It's better than nothing.

You wrote that you drove to Dunkin Donuts. Are you a coffee drinker? Coffee is probably the worst thing you can drink while going through withdrawals. I'm a hypocrite though cause I drink 4-5 large coffes a day sometimes, and I didn't listen when I was in w/d. I just kept drinking and drinking and was so sick from dehydration. I had that malaise feeling as well. I didn't listen lol...

Well, you seem to have turned the corner. It must feel good, eh?

Have a great weekend,
emsmom
 
What about soups? it's easier to go down and you're getting the benefits of hydrating at the same time?

just a suggestion.

I agree too w/emsmom that you're not being annoying in anyway by coming to share how you're dealing with the days of withdrawal. It really helps others who are about to go through it or are going through it.

thanks for your inspiration. it really helps.
 
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