M
musicman3
Guest
I had fragmented sleep from 11pm till 1am. I tossed and turn till 4am. I then got up and made a sandwich. I am actually surprised I ate something. I then tossed and turned again until 7am. I took a hot bath and took a xanax and was able to sleep from 730 until 930.
I feel crappy as expected. I forced myself to drive downtown and put gas in my car and go to Dunkin Donuts for coffee. Took every ounce of energy to just make it.
The worst is this restless feeling that we all get. I can't sit still and concentrate and yet I am exhausted. I have been lucky as of yet not to have a visit from the Colon God, if you know what I mean, but I did take 2 immodium with 600 mgs of advil.
I am just going to keep trucking through day 2. There is no looking back and I couldn't get a refill of my oxycodone even if I wanted to. There is no way I would take a step backwarRAB anyway. As I said, I am on vacation this week and my job is holding on by a thread due to my sick calls so I can not possible go through this at a later date when I have to work, so I have no choice in that matter.
I seriously do not want another opiate. I have not enjoyed them for over a year. Every pill I took caused me anxiety and low self esteem because I do not want to live that kind of life. I guess the one thing I do have going for me is the complete determination to be drug free. I want that more than any pill can give me, so this will hopefully work to my advantage. I have been clean for many months over the years and I do realize how much better I feel. My anxiety is gone, there is no counting of pills and I have much better health. I do not realize this after the fact with 20/20 vision, I realize it there and then. I look foward to those days.
I feel crappy as expected. I forced myself to drive downtown and put gas in my car and go to Dunkin Donuts for coffee. Took every ounce of energy to just make it.
The worst is this restless feeling that we all get. I can't sit still and concentrate and yet I am exhausted. I have been lucky as of yet not to have a visit from the Colon God, if you know what I mean, but I did take 2 immodium with 600 mgs of advil.
I am just going to keep trucking through day 2. There is no looking back and I couldn't get a refill of my oxycodone even if I wanted to. There is no way I would take a step backwarRAB anyway. As I said, I am on vacation this week and my job is holding on by a thread due to my sick calls so I can not possible go through this at a later date when I have to work, so I have no choice in that matter.
I seriously do not want another opiate. I have not enjoyed them for over a year. Every pill I took caused me anxiety and low self esteem because I do not want to live that kind of life. I guess the one thing I do have going for me is the complete determination to be drug free. I want that more than any pill can give me, so this will hopefully work to my advantage. I have been clean for many months over the years and I do realize how much better I feel. My anxiety is gone, there is no counting of pills and I have much better health. I do not realize this after the fact with 20/20 vision, I realize it there and then. I look foward to those days.