Day 1 of honesty

  • Thread starter Thread starter FullCircle08
  • Start date Start date
F

FullCircle08

Guest
Its taken a bit to write this but I am at around 40 hours of what I call HONESTY. Boy reach, you know me and my writings. I had not grasp the intensity of the situation I got myself into, but the reality has hit me in the face really hard. I have stuck to the plan hard core for the last few days and I feel like I am at day 2 or 3 with NO DRUGS and I am only at the beginning of my taper. I know the reason for this is because of my dishonestly with myself. I would sneak a pill here or there or sneak alcohol here or there and finally a few nights ago I said THIS IS IT and boy was I in for a rude awakening. I hope others have felt the way I feel. my question is that --is it just that I havent given my body a chance to adjust to this taper or am I doing it wrong? Should it be structured by TIME or by how you feel? I have never tapered down from such high dosages ever. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP because I went from about 5:30 last night till 7:30 this morning with NO pills. I realize that is great accept, my body is a mess this am. No sleep starting at 1am, then 3 am, then 4am. You all remeraber or know the pattern. I have a little xanax (never had a prob with this --dont freek) and other natural stuff that gets me back to sleep, but I cant do this each night for another MONTH!! I will die. Will this level off, isnt that the point of a taper.

SO --I dropped from around a 140 -250mg a day habit to 70mg in about 1 week. I know that is probably why I am feeling this way!!sooo- that is the reality of the situation, now I am at and will be at 70mg for 1 week (till sunday). This has to get better, I have SOOOOO much work stuff to do in this week and all the holiday stuff to do, that is why we are doing this. Please help me make this plan work. I need to feel better in the AM.

D
 
Hi D

It is good that I read from a real D today. Smiles.

When I first began the taper, it was strictly by time, very, very regimented. I strated at four doses a day. I don't remeraber the times exactly, but it was like 8, noon, 5 bedtime. Pretty evenly spaced out. When I was due for a cut, I made the cut from only one of those times, the other times in the day stayed the same. The next cut was from another dose a week to ten days later. This is how I lowered the amounts I ws taking.

As the weeks passed, I began to stretch when I took that first morning dose. I would stretch it by maybe 15-20 minutes. Eventually, that first morning dose melded into the dose taken around noon. This is how I lowered the nuraber of doses per day.

I was already on Xanax. I took three small doses per day. The Xanax certainly helped, but remeraber, I had to taper from the Xanax once I was done with the Oxycodone. The Xanax taper was truly tougher and presented a lot of symptoms and anxiety. Caution with taking Xanax. It becomes addicting within just a couple of weeks. Bad stuff. My advice is to use it very, very sparingly and not regularly. Using Melatonin 3 mgs at bedtime and
drinking an herbal tea is very helpful.

I made my days during the tapers extraordinarily routine. Up at the same time, afternoon rest at the same time, bed at the same time. Very robotic, but I needed that routine, I absoultely needed it to help my body and brain with the tapers. As long as I kept strictly to that daily routine, I would actually sleep at night for the entire night. I had more sleep issues coming off the Xanax.

I believe that the drop from such high doses to 70 milligrams a day was a pretty drastic drop. At this point, you are close to where I started. When I first developed my taper plan with my doctor, too big of a cut was made and I went into full withdrawals. We reworked the plan and it became one pill, 5 mgs, every two weeks. While I met the doctor's goal for me, what I actually did was make the cut a 1/2 a tablet every week to ten days. As I neared the end, the drops became smaller and smaller and I stuck to the 10% rule. I forced myself not to get antsy and drop quicker at that point.

D, I am a firm believer in once a cut is made, it stays made. However, I also believe that we need to level off before the next cut. That is why sometimes I had to make a cut in 7 days, sometimes 10, and sometimes I knew my body was ready after only four days. The symptoms will not go away completely at all during a taper, but do abate to a degree. It is when they abate that it is time for another cut.

I know that you and Wife have made this plan together and that is a good thing. You are where you are and I would stay at that dose, not go back up and try again. However, I think a practical plan, from my own experience is to make the cuts at 5 milligrams every two weeks, and making even 2 and 1/2 each week. When the days total is down to about 20 mgs a day, then it is time to stick absolutely to the 10% rule. There is no scientific standard to a taper. We have to use common sense and learn to really be in touch with our bodies.

Enough. Stay in touch, don't give up, don't give in. This can be done.

With lots of caring
reach
 
Thanks reach --I knew you would be the first to respond this AM. you are truely a remarkable beautiful person with so much to give. So if I am at 70mg how should my day go? I took 15mg this AM and I am at work until 1:00. I have an extra 5mg in my pocket for security reasons. It worked, I am manageable right now but not good, cold all the time and just feel tired, but not the way I was when I woke up this AM in full withdrawals. Dont you think that my body just neeRAB to level out because of the massive drop from last week and the cheating. It really has only been 40 hours or so that i have been honest with myself and wife. I just cant get my hanRAB or mind around the proper time/dosage with 70mg for an EVEN KEELED day. I have so much on my plate that I cant feel the way I do now for the next 7 days. That is the whole point of the TAPER, is so that I can continue living my life and not go on SUboxone right! please help I am really hurting soo deep right now.

d
 
Hi

Personally, I would space the doses at 20, 20 10, 20 over the course of the day. I would make the next cut with the seconf dose and go down to 15.

And Yes, I think you started with way too masive a cut and are pretty close probably to full blown withdrawal. However, I would stay at 70mg and level out at that amount. Might take another week, week and a half, but it will happen.

When the leveling off occurs, then start becoming very routine with the dosages and the cuts. We will talk more when that time comes, okay? And Buddy, let go of the 5 mg emergecy dose. It will only screw up the pattern of tapering.

Hugs
reach
 
Hey D!

Welcome back! I wish it were under better terms but let's face it... some of us fall flat on our faces a few times before we figure this out. I always stick to the motto of "what defines a person is not the wrongs they have done but in which the way they pick themselves up,make things right and move forward." I am working on this very concept right now.

Your tapering and that should serve you well but like Reach said, your jump was far too agressive that first leap. I had the same situation but not the same drug. Now I am trying to taper in moch speed.

I am so glad you are sharing your story because I KNOW it will help others out there. You are inspiring me to keep going so thank you for that....

You keep on keepin on. Many blessings to you and I pray you get a good nights rest.

Take Care!
 
Back
Top