Critique of a poem i wrote?

B

Ben Gren

New member
Regret.


Feeling feeble by this guilt
The salt gave way to flowers wilt
Our cremated coffin i alone built
So now remains a stand still silt

Please father dont try to flatter
To you i should not even matter
You've held my heart, prevented shatter
But still i still feel need to scatter

Could not ask for one more great
Forever guilt shall rain that date
The day you reach that pearly gate
For all the words ive stung with hate.
 
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