Could you help me improve my poetry? Please help? Easy 2 points?

dante

New member
I'm not into poetry much, but I don't really like the way you simplify comparisons. "black as ink" etc. you can always make it more descriptive, like, dark as the midnight... something. "tiger crawl like fiery cats" What the hell is that? I like the Classic Black Keys though.
 
Title: Tiger Eyes

Tiger that crawl like fiery cats,
Eyes as black as ink,
Ears curving like petals,
Magnificent colours.
Coal black diving into
Spectacular sunset orange capturing
Unicorn snow white.

Every time I think of them,
A tiger growls in my head.

The end! I wrote that poem in grade 3 with a bit of editing from my English teacher.

Another poem that I wrote. I entered this one for a contest. It's called "Classic Black Keys":

The room is full of
clinking glass and chatter.
Hands start flying across white strings.
The room is silent as a
melancholy melody weaves itself through the air.

The end! Do you like my poetry? I tend to write stories more than poems nowadays but I was just wondering if maybe I could get somewhere with my poetry.
 
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