fourthtime
New member
Hello. There is this guy that i really like, but im worried he might be showing signs of an abuser. I've been in some sketchy relationships before and i have trouble sometimes distinguishing what is normal. He treats me like we're dating ...we go out to dinner and movies and hang out alone all the time. He gets jealous of other guys, but in a protective way.
First of all he is very sensitive and has trouble flowing with things. He has a temper, when he gets mad he throws things and hits things. I let this go tho, cause this doesn't necessarily mean abuser.
Now i've started to notice little things that bother me. He is being a little manipulative when i don't do what he wants. says things like..."if you were my true friend you wouldn't go out you'd stay here with me and watch this movie". or "I don't like your friends that you hang out with" or,.."why do you still hang out with all your ex boyfriends, you should hang out with your true friends like me" Note that i've only known him for 6 months now, plus he's never met my ex boy friends or my other friends so i dont know why he is judging them! It really bothers me. Another example is he got angry when we were out to eat and my friend who was bar tending wanted to smoke a cigg with me, and he went on and on about how he must be a second class citizen and then half jokingly remarked about how i wasn't allowed to have a cigarette. Plus we're not even dating so i don't understand why he is showing this behavior.
He is also very paranoid, he times people, and tries to catch me in lies a lot. I'm starting to see him be kind of vicious to other women who are my friends who he doesn't like. And sometimes he fake threatens me joking around if i say something he doesnt like....for example..." Shut up or im going to slap you"
I'm sorry if this sounds ridiculous. There are a lot of things i really do like about him, hes a great guy, very passionate and smart. But i don't want to get involved with a guy who could turn out mean. I just started noticing these qualities, and would really appreciate anyone else's opinions? He also has told me that he would never ever think of hitting a woman, if that means anything....
He also, sticks up for me a lot when other guys come around and bother me. He is very protective, and i think things are getting close to a relationship with us. So please help!
and it sounds so obvious. I think i'm in denial. He does seem to have a good relationship with his parents tho...and he's very gentlemanly and does really nice things for women. ...
First of all he is very sensitive and has trouble flowing with things. He has a temper, when he gets mad he throws things and hits things. I let this go tho, cause this doesn't necessarily mean abuser.
Now i've started to notice little things that bother me. He is being a little manipulative when i don't do what he wants. says things like..."if you were my true friend you wouldn't go out you'd stay here with me and watch this movie". or "I don't like your friends that you hang out with" or,.."why do you still hang out with all your ex boyfriends, you should hang out with your true friends like me" Note that i've only known him for 6 months now, plus he's never met my ex boy friends or my other friends so i dont know why he is judging them! It really bothers me. Another example is he got angry when we were out to eat and my friend who was bar tending wanted to smoke a cigg with me, and he went on and on about how he must be a second class citizen and then half jokingly remarked about how i wasn't allowed to have a cigarette. Plus we're not even dating so i don't understand why he is showing this behavior.
He is also very paranoid, he times people, and tries to catch me in lies a lot. I'm starting to see him be kind of vicious to other women who are my friends who he doesn't like. And sometimes he fake threatens me joking around if i say something he doesnt like....for example..." Shut up or im going to slap you"
I'm sorry if this sounds ridiculous. There are a lot of things i really do like about him, hes a great guy, very passionate and smart. But i don't want to get involved with a guy who could turn out mean. I just started noticing these qualities, and would really appreciate anyone else's opinions? He also has told me that he would never ever think of hitting a woman, if that means anything....
He also, sticks up for me a lot when other guys come around and bother me. He is very protective, and i think things are getting close to a relationship with us. So please help!
and it sounds so obvious. I think i'm in denial. He does seem to have a good relationship with his parents tho...and he's very gentlemanly and does really nice things for women. ...