Constructive criticism on my poetry please?

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machina

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The Nameless One

Maybe it wasn't meant for me
To see her face,
But just to worship
Her silent grace.

To watch as she walks,
And walks away,
To stop my days,
Forever gray.

For times countless,
And countless times,
I've watched time pass
Right by my eyes,
Then tell me, oh you so wise!
How can time be stopped by plain beauty?
Or is it her heavenly duty,
To show this soul,that behind the clouds,
Stars still shine, no matter how faint,
Still steady and proud.

Maybe it was just a sign,
A cruel joke, not so divine,
A message from above
To keep me on the line.

If that is so,her name shall cross my lips
Never again, although unknown!
And I shall sit by the dusks,lonely,
Waiting for the dawn.

But my time stood solid,
Only she glided across the room,
I shall have her,
Or I shall have certain doom.

My own council I sought,
And shortly after, I've failed.
I cried out her name, to no avail.
To west I now set my sail,
For my sun shall set forever,
And my face turn forever pale.

And all my hopes go down the drain,
For all my efforts had been in vain,
All the songs I've written,
All the dragons I've slain,
Oh endless agony, grueling pain!
The savage irony, my life's bane!
Your denial chains me earthbound,
On my soul puts a strain,
For as long as blood runs
trough my vein!
Why carry on, I've nothing to loose,
And nothing to gain,
Oh, I've lost my honor ages ago,
To your personal amusement,
Broken is my glory, wounded fame.

Humanity that is left in me
Refuses to die, my body clings on to its soul,
Like a shadow on the wall,
Rising, only to fall.
I am shallow, though my shadow rises tall,
Too weak to make the call,
I set sail, to end it all.

I pray for the storm to rage,
To wash me away,to break my cage,
To cut these chains, that strain me so
For I've hit bottom, when you said no.
 
There are lots of rhymes, so I guess that part works.

I don't "get" poetry most times, and this is no exception.

Sounds like you got your heart broke. Don't worry, you'll find someone else to fall in love with soon enough.
 
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