Computer School Snippets
- Thread starter Holliee
- Start date
Moving on...
#11: Three weeks later...
Our hardware teacher has been explaining to us the job of a motherboard for three weeks now, going over each component many, many times over along with providing us with a large photocopied compendium full of useful information. Today, after three grueling hours of straight theory, he had just finished explaining, re-explaining, re-re-explaining and re-re-re-explaining what a Chipset does on a motherboard.
Teacher: Does everyone understand? Does everybody understand this? This is very important for the next lab, I need everyone to understand this otherwise you'll be stuck. *turns to the Idiotess of The Hill* Did you understand?
Idiotess: (With an air of defiance) No.
I left the class.
#12: Patch Panel Woes
We come into software class and I realize through my browser that the school's proxy server isn't letting anybody on the Internet today. I start up a solitaire while overhearing a conspiracy theory around me.
Idiot #1: What's the hell's up with the network? I can't go on MSN!
Idiot #2: I bet it's the damned patch panel again. It always fucks up!
Idiot #1: Let's check this out. I bet it's this cable.
Idiot #2: Nah, still not working.
Idiot #3: What the hell you guys doing? You're fucking up the network! No wonder why it's not working!
Idiot #1: But I'm certain it's this cable here! I saw the teacher plugging it in the other day!
Me: ...Guys, it's the proxy. The proxy's closed down today.
Idiot #2: We know! It's because of that patch panel that doesn't wanna work!
#13: Wherein no one is a prophet in his own country.
Everybody's chattering among each other.
Teacher: OK guys, class is about to start up. I'll let the computers run on your side since I know some of you need to finish their partitions - do it as long as it's stuff that can be done in the background. If I hear too much talking, I'll be forced to cut the juice and you won't have anything to do but listen to me. Did I make myself clear?
Everybody resumes talking.
#11: Three weeks later...
Our hardware teacher has been explaining to us the job of a motherboard for three weeks now, going over each component many, many times over along with providing us with a large photocopied compendium full of useful information. Today, after three grueling hours of straight theory, he had just finished explaining, re-explaining, re-re-explaining and re-re-re-explaining what a Chipset does on a motherboard.
Teacher: Does everyone understand? Does everybody understand this? This is very important for the next lab, I need everyone to understand this otherwise you'll be stuck. *turns to the Idiotess of The Hill* Did you understand?
Idiotess: (With an air of defiance) No.
I left the class.
#12: Patch Panel Woes
We come into software class and I realize through my browser that the school's proxy server isn't letting anybody on the Internet today. I start up a solitaire while overhearing a conspiracy theory around me.
Idiot #1: What's the hell's up with the network? I can't go on MSN!
Idiot #2: I bet it's the damned patch panel again. It always fucks up!
Idiot #1: Let's check this out. I bet it's this cable.
Idiot #2: Nah, still not working.
Idiot #3: What the hell you guys doing? You're fucking up the network! No wonder why it's not working!
Idiot #1: But I'm certain it's this cable here! I saw the teacher plugging it in the other day!
Me: ...Guys, it's the proxy. The proxy's closed down today.
Idiot #2: We know! It's because of that patch panel that doesn't wanna work!
#13: Wherein no one is a prophet in his own country.
Everybody's chattering among each other.
Teacher: OK guys, class is about to start up. I'll let the computers run on your side since I know some of you need to finish their partitions - do it as long as it's stuff that can be done in the background. If I hear too much talking, I'll be forced to cut the juice and you won't have anything to do but listen to me. Did I make myself clear?
Everybody resumes talking.
Anirban711
New member
#14: KILL YOURSELF.
Idiot: Ma'am... Ma'am! What do I put?
This question might have been valid had the context not been explained properly.
I know the context.
Believe me, I lost all references of right and wrong in my mind when I heard that phrase.
Today, in class, we write a few programs. Teacher tells us to write a prog that asks the user for two numbers. The program adds the numbers and then displays the sum.
The dude in front of me writes the program, compiles it, runs it. There pops the familiar DOS window and the words "Enter your first number:"
He turned to the teacher and said "Ma'am... Ma'am! What do I put?"
While my jaw was making its way to China, the teacher answered as if it was a normal ol' question.
I mean, come on.
Best of all...
...he did it TWICE!
He wrote ANOTHER program where something was expected the user and AGAIN asked what to put!!
Idiot: Ma'am... Ma'am! What do I put?
This question might have been valid had the context not been explained properly.
I know the context.
Believe me, I lost all references of right and wrong in my mind when I heard that phrase.
Today, in class, we write a few programs. Teacher tells us to write a prog that asks the user for two numbers. The program adds the numbers and then displays the sum.
The dude in front of me writes the program, compiles it, runs it. There pops the familiar DOS window and the words "Enter your first number:"
He turned to the teacher and said "Ma'am... Ma'am! What do I put?"
While my jaw was making its way to China, the teacher answered as if it was a normal ol' question.
I mean, come on.
HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO INPUT IN HIS OWN GOD FUCKING PROGRAM!!!
Best of all...
...he did it TWICE!
He wrote ANOTHER program where something was expected the user and AGAIN asked what to put!!
chaichai8 :)
New member
god that sucks
tell us more ! i wanna know btw you at collage or high school
tell us more ! i wanna know btw you at collage or high school
mschevious123.
New member
Billy how the fuck do you know if I know or dont know? You're 14 years old.
Christropher Brando
New member
About 90% of the class is composed of Arabic people. And this particular bunch is notorious for talking during class. When the teacher's speaking in front.
I had done my lab and homework in the morning during theory. I had finished right before lunch, so the teacher asked me if she could instead look at my work after lunch. I said all right.
When we get back, she informs me she'll give the students the last 5 minutes of theory and then check my work.
#15: KILL YOURSELF TWO
Teacher: OK, now we're gonna talk about the Switch instruction, which...
*everyone's speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: Excuse me! French only in class please. Speak whatever language you want during breaks or after school, but as long as you're in class, it's against the rules to speak any other language than French.
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: Looks like I haven't made myself clear. We want to understand each other. And if everybody speaks in a different language, we won't know what you're saying.
*silence*
Teacher: Now, the Switch command *arabic* is really useful since *arabic* it can do more than the IF ELSE we were used to before. *arabic-arabic-arabic* For example... Hey!
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: Haven't you listened? FRENCH IN CLASS.
Idiotess: But there are some expressions that can't be translated!
Teacher: And that's exactly why you won't say them in the first place.
Me: Someone speaks Arabic to someone else. Who says he didn't just say "Hey, that dude in the red shirt is a dumbass"?
*laughter*
Teacher: Continuing with the Switch statement...
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: ...
Idiot #1: (this one wasn't Arabic) It's for learning! I'm trying to immerse myself in the Arabic language!
Teacher: You'll do it outside class!
Me: (I speak to a Peruvian) Hey [Bob], do you speak Spanish?
Bob: *laughs*
Me: 'Cause if you do, I have a devilish plan in my mind!
*laughter*
*Another idiot stands up to go fool around with the network's patch panel*
Teacher: ...
Idiot #2: ...?
Teacher: Sit.
Idiot #2: But my Inter--
Teacher: Sit!!
*Idiot #2 gets back to his seat, grumbling*
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
At this point, the teacher leans herself on top of a computer monitor, crosses her arms over it and lowers her head on her arms. She stays in this position for a few moments before giving me a "come here" motion.
I open up my computer to show her my work.
Me: The OR check's here, the two others there. For this one, I used this way but...
Teacher: Here, do it that way next time, it'll be shorter.
Me: That's what I thought. Well, that's everything?
Teacher: Yep. Have a good weekend. (Then, whispering
We ain't out of the woods yet...
Me: I know. Good luck!
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
I check my watch as I exit the class. 40 minutes have elapsed and the teacher hasn't had the opportunity to finish a 5 minute speech.
I had done my lab and homework in the morning during theory. I had finished right before lunch, so the teacher asked me if she could instead look at my work after lunch. I said all right.
When we get back, she informs me she'll give the students the last 5 minutes of theory and then check my work.
#15: KILL YOURSELF TWO
Teacher: OK, now we're gonna talk about the Switch instruction, which...
*everyone's speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: Excuse me! French only in class please. Speak whatever language you want during breaks or after school, but as long as you're in class, it's against the rules to speak any other language than French.
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: Looks like I haven't made myself clear. We want to understand each other. And if everybody speaks in a different language, we won't know what you're saying.
*silence*
Teacher: Now, the Switch command *arabic* is really useful since *arabic* it can do more than the IF ELSE we were used to before. *arabic-arabic-arabic* For example... Hey!
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: Haven't you listened? FRENCH IN CLASS.
Idiotess: But there are some expressions that can't be translated!
Teacher: And that's exactly why you won't say them in the first place.
Me: Someone speaks Arabic to someone else. Who says he didn't just say "Hey, that dude in the red shirt is a dumbass"?
*laughter*
Teacher: Continuing with the Switch statement...
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
Teacher: ...
Idiot #1: (this one wasn't Arabic) It's for learning! I'm trying to immerse myself in the Arabic language!
Teacher: You'll do it outside class!
Me: (I speak to a Peruvian) Hey [Bob], do you speak Spanish?
Bob: *laughs*
Me: 'Cause if you do, I have a devilish plan in my mind!
*laughter*
*Another idiot stands up to go fool around with the network's patch panel*
Teacher: ...
Idiot #2: ...?
Teacher: Sit.
Idiot #2: But my Inter--
Teacher: Sit!!
*Idiot #2 gets back to his seat, grumbling*
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
At this point, the teacher leans herself on top of a computer monitor, crosses her arms over it and lowers her head on her arms. She stays in this position for a few moments before giving me a "come here" motion.
I open up my computer to show her my work.
Me: The OR check's here, the two others there. For this one, I used this way but...
Teacher: Here, do it that way next time, it'll be shorter.
Me: That's what I thought. Well, that's everything?
Teacher: Yep. Have a good weekend. (Then, whispering
We ain't out of the woods yet...Me: I know. Good luck!
*everyone keeps speaking Arabic among each other*
I check my watch as I exit the class. 40 minutes have elapsed and the teacher hasn't had the opportunity to finish a 5 minute speech.
uncle steve
New member
#16: Dyslexia Simulator
Me: You need to insert your floppy disk. OK, turn off your computer. No, not the screen! The computer! No! This. The box. Big button. No, not the small one, the big one. OK, take out your hard drive. Good. Now insert the floppy. No, other way. Wait, wait, hang on, stop. Stop. We'll take it from the beginning. Round part face down. OK. Now insert it with the metal part at the front - no, other front! Other front! There, OK, there! Now start it up. Big button.
Need I mention we're already at mid-term?
Me: You need to insert your floppy disk. OK, turn off your computer. No, not the screen! The computer! No! This. The box. Big button. No, not the small one, the big one. OK, take out your hard drive. Good. Now insert the floppy. No, other way. Wait, wait, hang on, stop. Stop. We'll take it from the beginning. Round part face down. OK. Now insert it with the metal part at the front - no, other front! Other front! There, OK, there! Now start it up. Big button.
Need I mention we're already at mid-term?
Pokemon Trainer
New member
dude your storries make life worth living