COMMENT WHAT DO YOU GUYS THIN ABOUT THIS POEM ?

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Crimson

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There's definitely an interesting premise behind this poem, and it has a lot of great specificity in regard to the details behind the narrative! I'd be careful, though, of abstract terms like "chilled" and "cold" because even though everyone knows what those feel like, they tend to be a little trite by themselves. Instead of telling us how it was, show us. How does it feel? What does it look like? Smell like? Taste like? Stay rooted in the five senses and steer clear of abstractions. Good luck! Keep us updated with drafts! ^_^
 
Witches Groom

I walked out in the night, my hand’s soon froze

The air was so chilled it sank deep to my bones.

I happened to notice her standing there

The cold wind wiping her long dark hair

I approached her with a gentle smile

“My dear have you been waiting a while?”

She turned to me with feline eyes

Her beauty took me by surprise

I realized I was staring rudely

She laughed, smiled, and beckoned to me

The intoxicating smell as I drew close

She introduced herself simply as “Rose”

The gown she wore was elegant black lace

It fit her devlish curves with grace

She slipped her slender arms through mine

Her soft word purrs that made me sigh

She led me smiling down the street

A black cat darted past our feet

Frogs mocking croaked somewhere near

Whispers of shadows filled my ear

Slightly fearful I hesitated

The world around us evaporated

Only the dark pavement remained below

Covered in feathers from a poor black crow

Blinking I asked if all was well

She smiled dangerously “It’s just a spell,”

Like a puppet I could not resist

The world vanished in her deceiving mist

I wondered briefly what she lacked

The classic old broom or the crocked black hat?

She released me as we reached the end

A creeping black widow fell from my hand

I tried to run but it was too late

Her voodoo doll controlled my fate

We stood now among several graves

In her hand appeared a shiny curved blade

And I her sacrifice soon to be

To increase the power of her magic x3

Her ferocity over, I was thrown in a tomb

My name soon forgotten, a black witches groom.
 
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