Comment on my poem, please?

Not Like Heaven

New member
It's about my the fun times I had as a child, before I became a teenager. Not titled yet. Tell me what you think. Thanks. Here:


Days of no care
In brooding lair
Barely lit room
All parts of day, yum
Hop on tower of knowledge
Feel as one on the edge
Disk spinning fast
Don't care if last
Slaughter of demon
A "free" man of being
Not even adolescent
Not ready to be sent
Adamant innocence & hell bent
Acidic caffeine pours down
Into cavity; drown
Irrelevant future
For extreme measure
Cries of demonic force
Laughter of no remorse
I tried to not make this sound all sad and sappy like most people would look to the past. I think of the past as just good times to be remembered.
 
Back
Top