College student looking for advice

[gazebos]

I'm a 21 year old student of the recording arts, Sound Manager at a local venue, and a musician. I have goals in life that I must accomplish, but I feel like my anxiety is holding me back. I need some advice.

I had a depressed period in my life. A girl. I forgot who I was for three years. Doctors prescribed me Pristiq, but I didn't like it, then Lexapro which was better, but I hated the way it made my mouth feel so I stopped taking it. I used these for the month to get the full effect but they didn't work for me.

6 months later, I've been having the most productive month of my life. I'm fairly happy, not depressed anymore, but I feel like my brain's running a notch too fast.

Mind racing, anxiety always, worried about my appearance constantly, a non-existant appetite (I can't eat before noon, no food seems satisfying and makes me queasy), terrible social anxiety (I threw up before class for THREE public speech classes I've failed), cant conversate with people, my mouth gets dry and I have to clear my throat halfway through sentences, terrible anxiety around girls especially (I get the shakes before intimate encounters and it weirded me and them out), can't maintain eye contact, always self aware, can't sleep well, I'm so wound up I have back and leg problems from my muscles being tight, which makes me toss and turn at night.

I'm a mess and it's stopping me from being myself.

I have a level head on my shoulders and I don't want to come across as some scam, but I need advice on taking Xanax as a prescription drug.

I know the dangers of Xanax. It ended the life of my friend Jake and I suspect more of my frienRAB will go the same. It's wreaked havoc on the youth in this area.

But I've taken the drug before, I don't lose any memory, I feel like I actually breathe deeper, when I play guitar I can't believe how much more fluid and relaxed I am, I can sing better, in public places my head is up and I don't stay in my own world, I strike up conversations with people with ease, I eat so good, and I feel like myself, a complete me.

I don't know what else to say, I think this drug will help me, any advice?

 

[Lily2005]

It sounRAB like you've had excellent results with Xanax. If you're being carefully monitored by your physician, I think it would be safe to give Xanax another try. I know it's a terrible feeling to not be accomplishing all you can because of anxiety.

 

[Mhamil38]

Hey man it is so weird to run into this post. I am 21 years old, love playing guitar, and went to a school my freshman year and felt the exact same symptoms you are going through. (at the time i was 19). I do the same thing basically but i play the guitar , nothing else matters in the world.

But anyway I am feeling much better than I was when I was 19. I through up before I had to give a speach, mind was racing all the time. At one point I didn't get REM sleep for a month. I ended up just taking time off. (I too have high expectations from school)

My advice... TAKE TIME OFF FROM SCHOOL, there is no rush to get your goals accomplished now. Live at home with parents I actually had to go to the psyc ward (this might shock you but it might be good to go, they'll listen to you and give you meRAB that will work best for you, ASAP) I also recommend Neurofeedback if you have the money, I have noticed dramatic changes from that (it takes time though). During your time off from school, work a basic job, thatll bring back confidence slowly to the point that interacting with a employees is the same thing as your classmates or that girl at school you think is hot. Dude it took me two years but now I can spit game hahaha cause I can now calm myself.