S
SteveSVN
Guest
The Big Bang took place shortly after god borrowed some money from Chuck Norris and failed to return it.
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
For Thanksgiving, Chuck Norris' wife forgot to buy a turkey. So Chuck Norris ate a turkey whole and coughed it up 2 minutes later all done with mashed potato. When his wife asked how he did, he roundhouse kicked her and said YOU NEVER QUESTION CHUCK NORRIS.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds
The Titanic didn't hit an iceberg, it struck Chuck Norris doing backstrokes in the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris can bang a girl faster than her virginity can realize it's been taken.
Chuck Norris won the staring contest with the sun.
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls he walks through.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, which is why there are no signs of life.
While some kids piss their name into snow, Chuck Norris pisses it on concrete.
Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. He was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
The first 23 minutes of Saving Private Ryan was loosely based on a game of chess Chuck Norris played.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
Chuck Norris sets ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If Chuck Norris clones himself and roundhouse kicks each other to the face, the universe implodes.
Chuck Norris slams revolving doors.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris does not style his hair, it styles itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits..
God created Earth in 7 days, but Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Chuck Norris doesn’t consider it sex if the woman lives.
Ireland doesn’t have Nuclear Weapons because Chuck Norris is part Irish.
Chuck Norris turned off the electricity in Jurassic Park so he could have a free for all.
The sun sets because of Chuck Norris.
Henry Ford invented cars so he could run away from Chuck Norris faster.
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
For Thanksgiving, Chuck Norris' wife forgot to buy a turkey. So Chuck Norris ate a turkey whole and coughed it up 2 minutes later all done with mashed potato. When his wife asked how he did, he roundhouse kicked her and said YOU NEVER QUESTION CHUCK NORRIS.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds
The Titanic didn't hit an iceberg, it struck Chuck Norris doing backstrokes in the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris can bang a girl faster than her virginity can realize it's been taken.
Chuck Norris won the staring contest with the sun.
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls he walks through.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, which is why there are no signs of life.
While some kids piss their name into snow, Chuck Norris pisses it on concrete.
Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. He was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
The first 23 minutes of Saving Private Ryan was loosely based on a game of chess Chuck Norris played.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
Chuck Norris sets ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If Chuck Norris clones himself and roundhouse kicks each other to the face, the universe implodes.
Chuck Norris slams revolving doors.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris does not style his hair, it styles itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits..
God created Earth in 7 days, but Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Chuck Norris doesn’t consider it sex if the woman lives.
Ireland doesn’t have Nuclear Weapons because Chuck Norris is part Irish.
Chuck Norris turned off the electricity in Jurassic Park so he could have a free for all.
The sun sets because of Chuck Norris.
Henry Ford invented cars so he could run away from Chuck Norris faster.