Check out my story and PLEASE give me feedback!?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Advice Angel
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Advice Angel

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please check out my story at: shirlzstuff.wordpress.com

i would greatly appreciate it if I could get some feedback and the truth whether its good or bad???

Thank you
 
Hmm, you could work a teeny bit more on describing the guy and yourself. A bit more work on dialogue paragraphing and it'll be good. Other than that, your descriptions are all great!

Hope to read more from you! Your page is bookmarked! =D
 
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