carnivore

O

o no its mo

New member
cleanse the sheltered
throughout hollow
beckoning names
of fallen devils
to those forests i have forgotten

she wears me like a skin
desolate and envious
weeping 'til cloth
is dripping from thunder
 
idk good point.

But like, the first segment just seems like kind of vague 'dark imagery'

The second stanza get's more to detail and it seems love oriented so I can't rightly criticize how you feel, but I think what you should do is try to make this longer with a more positive intro to explain as to why you would feel the way expressed in the second stanza.
 
Ya mang, no problem.

An example of what I'm talking about would be like Alone In December by Underoath, yes, he's expressing a clear distress involving a party of the opposite gender, however, he shows grace, and points out the reason for the distress and the prior positivity that made the negativity so bittersweet.
 
coal miners in ny?


yeah actually some of my family is really talented artistically my 2 uncles on my dad's side are in a traveling jazz band called Occupational Gypsy and my mom's side has my Uncle who write poetry and write some cool keyboard based songs he even had an ep out a few years ago
 
im from pa lol

and yeah, my dad's family was all about music, but not really writing, my dad plays trumpet and guitar real well actually
 
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