I am a Taiwanese student and I am applying a culinary school now.
I need a 500 words essay in my application.
Please help me to correct my essay
Thank you!
After I served in the military in Taiwan, I came to New York to learn English and prepared for applying business school. During these 6 months in NY, I kept thinking about my future plan, and then I have changed my mind. I want to study something else, not only in business field. I would like to combine my interest with my career. Therefore, I chose culinary as my next major. English isn’t my native language so I think it is better to study in something I enjoy. I would definitely study harder in what I’m fascinated by.
In my childhood, I always liked to help my mom in the kitchen. Actually she is not an outstanding cook. However, my father is the best chef in my family. Even though he is busy in his business all the year, he always prepares a bountiful feast on Chinese New Year’s Eve. My father grew up in a farming family. In this family, they cooked all kinds of traditional food for every holiday and festival by themselves. For instance, they usually spent the whole day cooking taro rice cake, which is my favorite rice cake for Chinese New Year. First, they ground rice into rice milk and heated it up until the rice milk became sticky. While waiting the rice milk cool down, they began to cook stuffing, taro, dried shrimp and dried red onion. Eventually, they mixed everything together, shaped the rice cake and put them in the steamer. All these kind of experiences made my father becoming an expert in Taiwanese traditional food.
Helping my parents to cook whetted my interest in cooking. Ever since I was a child, I tried to make some desserts by myself, like cookies or Dorayaki, a Japanese dessert. I took some pastry classes in a private institute when I was in college. The best thing about the class is that I could bring my results home. I found fulfillment in sharing what I baked to my friends and family. It was always a pleasure to see the satisfied smiles on their faces.
If I’m given a chance to be accepted in the school and complete my course, it’s sure to open doors and enhance the opportunities in my career. My plan is to work for a fine restaurant or delight bakery first. Later on, when I gain the experiences and capital enough, I’d like to start my own business. It should be like a pastry boutique that offers dainty baked goods and adorable ambience. I know that it isn’t a easy path to success in culinary field, especially for people who changed their career after they graduated college. Therefore, I will be more diligent than before and successful in the school.
I need a 500 words essay in my application.
Please help me to correct my essay
Thank you!
After I served in the military in Taiwan, I came to New York to learn English and prepared for applying business school. During these 6 months in NY, I kept thinking about my future plan, and then I have changed my mind. I want to study something else, not only in business field. I would like to combine my interest with my career. Therefore, I chose culinary as my next major. English isn’t my native language so I think it is better to study in something I enjoy. I would definitely study harder in what I’m fascinated by.
In my childhood, I always liked to help my mom in the kitchen. Actually she is not an outstanding cook. However, my father is the best chef in my family. Even though he is busy in his business all the year, he always prepares a bountiful feast on Chinese New Year’s Eve. My father grew up in a farming family. In this family, they cooked all kinds of traditional food for every holiday and festival by themselves. For instance, they usually spent the whole day cooking taro rice cake, which is my favorite rice cake for Chinese New Year. First, they ground rice into rice milk and heated it up until the rice milk became sticky. While waiting the rice milk cool down, they began to cook stuffing, taro, dried shrimp and dried red onion. Eventually, they mixed everything together, shaped the rice cake and put them in the steamer. All these kind of experiences made my father becoming an expert in Taiwanese traditional food.
Helping my parents to cook whetted my interest in cooking. Ever since I was a child, I tried to make some desserts by myself, like cookies or Dorayaki, a Japanese dessert. I took some pastry classes in a private institute when I was in college. The best thing about the class is that I could bring my results home. I found fulfillment in sharing what I baked to my friends and family. It was always a pleasure to see the satisfied smiles on their faces.
If I’m given a chance to be accepted in the school and complete my course, it’s sure to open doors and enhance the opportunities in my career. My plan is to work for a fine restaurant or delight bakery first. Later on, when I gain the experiences and capital enough, I’d like to start my own business. It should be like a pastry boutique that offers dainty baked goods and adorable ambience. I know that it isn’t a easy path to success in culinary field, especially for people who changed their career after they graduated college. Therefore, I will be more diligent than before and successful in the school.