Can you name this story about a man who contemplates suicide?

bob smith

New member
It is a short story or an excerpt. It tells of a man who everyday wakes up, picks up a gun off his table, and presses it to his head. He rubs his face with it and licks the barrel. Doing this makes him feel more alive.
I was thinking it might have been Nietzsche, Camus, or Dostoevsky, nut i can't find it anywhere.
If you could tell me the name of this story or the book its from it would help. Thanks!
 
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