Can I get some opinions on this poem please?

  • Thread starter Thread starter A Brave New Person
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A Brave New Person

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The tree goes bang.
The TV goes boom.
In the bottom of our pockets we find our doom.

Pants in the street sayin Chang-a-laing-laing.
These are the noises in my brain.

I ate a chicken nugget.
Made me sick.
My veins turned blue and the pain ran quick.

Now just like the phat cats in the mall, our chance is going by.
So hit the ball.

AS slick as lightning and brighter than the moon; we see God dancing to the beat of the tune.

And just like that its One-forty-five.
It's getting late so now I got to jive.
well I got into trouble at school and i wrote this about my experience in ISS(in school suspension)
Each verse is about something that happend that day.
For example the part about the chicken nugget has to do with the fact that i'm a vegan and i was going on a hunger strike. I had not eaten in a week and was so hungry I couldn't resist eating. I got extremely sick afterwards.
 
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