Kendrick Roberts
New member
...pasts digs deep.? Honestly, I have met a girl that has made me the happiest and saddest person on this earth.
She has a less than credible past, and wanted to do some stupid things, but I met her before she got the chance and she started to change for me, and agreed with my values and etc etc.
All of this without me telling her to.
We're 17 and 16 but very serious as far as a relationship goes for our age. I know it's high school and foolish to think things last, and that people change but we both would be very happy if things did work out. We've been together 7 months, and are honestly our first true loves.... high school sweethearts if you may. Had many bad experiences in our past and present, and we both help each other get through them, and are very supportive. Lost our virginity together, and never take sex for granted.... very mature I guess for our age. We're very bonded, yet not clingy... idk.... I wouldn't mind being with her and she wouldn't mind either.... you all laugh now, but it does happen.
Well, about 5 months and she did something that hurt me and gives me horrible anxiety. I made her promise me not to take any drugs or anything, other than weed or something.... and I did it not to be controlling but because I love her and worry about her....
but less than 24 hours later she impulsively took some after my friend gave some to her... She didn't even think about it. You have to trust me... she used to be and still is to some degree a very impulsive person and that personality has dwindled but still scares me. I promise she didn't do it because I made it seem fun or because of any other spiteful reason you guys can make up... she was just being her old self.... the self she wants to get rid of.
And, well.... she did oxy the day she was supposed to eat with my family and formally meet my dad who flew in from cali (split parents) for my birthday... and she blew that all off for drugs in my eyes, and I broke down in front of my family during my birthday at a restaurant and walked miles in the rain to her house to break it off with her.... but idk if it's because I'm a weak, loving or forgiving person or what, but I saw her... (this is 9 hours after she took it and she was completely sober) and she had been crying the whole time and was shaking violently and honestly understood what she did... and how big a mistake it was... and I couldn't do it... I stood there in the rain and cold for hours... and couldn't break up with her... I cared too much. I truly do love her.
People make mistakes and learn from them... but my problem is. It took a long time to learn to trust her and she continually makes little mistakes that remind me of the old her... never anything like cheating, and she never drinks.... but just idk...
for instance she spent a day with some scummy kids that had bad intentions and she trusted them, and she was at a friends sweet 16 and some kid grinded on her and she knew it was wrong and wanted out, but didn't leave the situation and idk... it kills me thinking about things like that... what if some scum kid felt good sexually due to MY girlfriend... she called me crying that she made the mistake without me asking, and she would've gotten away with it but idk..
I know deep down she honestly loves me and never means to hurt me and you guys have to trust me on this one, but most of her little mess ups are just her doing the things she used to do.
And here's my problem...
How do I help get over the fact that she did that to me...
and how do I learn to trust her completely, or should I love her and keep a watchful eye out until I'm ready to trust her again and just not let me not trusting her get in the way... and I haven't (although any real lasting relationship is built partially on trust)
She understands me and still cries over what she did from time to time and knows I don't completely trust her. She's willing to wait for me to learn to trust her again and I'm so thankful she has the patience to accept me and understand/respect my thoughts no matter how twisted they may be.
Everyday I try.... I honestly try to forget what she did, and sometimes I get close, but she'll slip a little, or I'll just not forget.
It haunts me that she did what she did... Even if it was an impulsive mistake.
We love each other and are willing to wait and see how things play out, but I really need some advice from someones who's been in a situation similar to mine. I love this girl with all my heart and its mutual... We've helped each other out so much in dealing with tough backgrounds and a tough life. She's made my life so much better and it goes both ways once again. We've been through a lot and we both got a head on our shoulders and had a real changing point after we got serious. Things took time and we built our relationship the right way, and I would hate to see it be ruined by somethi
She has a less than credible past, and wanted to do some stupid things, but I met her before she got the chance and she started to change for me, and agreed with my values and etc etc.
All of this without me telling her to.
We're 17 and 16 but very serious as far as a relationship goes for our age. I know it's high school and foolish to think things last, and that people change but we both would be very happy if things did work out. We've been together 7 months, and are honestly our first true loves.... high school sweethearts if you may. Had many bad experiences in our past and present, and we both help each other get through them, and are very supportive. Lost our virginity together, and never take sex for granted.... very mature I guess for our age. We're very bonded, yet not clingy... idk.... I wouldn't mind being with her and she wouldn't mind either.... you all laugh now, but it does happen.
Well, about 5 months and she did something that hurt me and gives me horrible anxiety. I made her promise me not to take any drugs or anything, other than weed or something.... and I did it not to be controlling but because I love her and worry about her....
but less than 24 hours later she impulsively took some after my friend gave some to her... She didn't even think about it. You have to trust me... she used to be and still is to some degree a very impulsive person and that personality has dwindled but still scares me. I promise she didn't do it because I made it seem fun or because of any other spiteful reason you guys can make up... she was just being her old self.... the self she wants to get rid of.
And, well.... she did oxy the day she was supposed to eat with my family and formally meet my dad who flew in from cali (split parents) for my birthday... and she blew that all off for drugs in my eyes, and I broke down in front of my family during my birthday at a restaurant and walked miles in the rain to her house to break it off with her.... but idk if it's because I'm a weak, loving or forgiving person or what, but I saw her... (this is 9 hours after she took it and she was completely sober) and she had been crying the whole time and was shaking violently and honestly understood what she did... and how big a mistake it was... and I couldn't do it... I stood there in the rain and cold for hours... and couldn't break up with her... I cared too much. I truly do love her.
People make mistakes and learn from them... but my problem is. It took a long time to learn to trust her and she continually makes little mistakes that remind me of the old her... never anything like cheating, and she never drinks.... but just idk...
for instance she spent a day with some scummy kids that had bad intentions and she trusted them, and she was at a friends sweet 16 and some kid grinded on her and she knew it was wrong and wanted out, but didn't leave the situation and idk... it kills me thinking about things like that... what if some scum kid felt good sexually due to MY girlfriend... she called me crying that she made the mistake without me asking, and she would've gotten away with it but idk..
I know deep down she honestly loves me and never means to hurt me and you guys have to trust me on this one, but most of her little mess ups are just her doing the things she used to do.
And here's my problem...
How do I help get over the fact that she did that to me...
and how do I learn to trust her completely, or should I love her and keep a watchful eye out until I'm ready to trust her again and just not let me not trusting her get in the way... and I haven't (although any real lasting relationship is built partially on trust)
She understands me and still cries over what she did from time to time and knows I don't completely trust her. She's willing to wait for me to learn to trust her again and I'm so thankful she has the patience to accept me and understand/respect my thoughts no matter how twisted they may be.
Everyday I try.... I honestly try to forget what she did, and sometimes I get close, but she'll slip a little, or I'll just not forget.
It haunts me that she did what she did... Even if it was an impulsive mistake.
We love each other and are willing to wait and see how things play out, but I really need some advice from someones who's been in a situation similar to mine. I love this girl with all my heart and its mutual... We've helped each other out so much in dealing with tough backgrounds and a tough life. She's made my life so much better and it goes both ways once again. We've been through a lot and we both got a head on our shoulders and had a real changing point after we got serious. Things took time and we built our relationship the right way, and I would hate to see it be ruined by somethi