Tom Rechsteiner
New member
I have been with my girlfriend for eight months, I am 37, she is 35. I have known her since she moved to my town four years ago. During that time she had two relationships both lasting over a year. She made me work real hard to get her into bed after her last break up. Took me about a month even though I was getting her drunk every weekend and I knew she liked me (not fair play!). Finally got her after one of those nights out. She did not care to kiss much but the sex was good. A few days later we did it sober and OMG. She won't kiss, she uses a bullet vibrator, and it was pretty much like I was assisting her masterbate. Zero effort! She apologized afterward "sorry I suck at sex". She went on to tell me she is just not very sexual. I asked about the no kissing. She told me she use to like kissing..... but her ex-boyfriend was so intense with his kisses she got turned off from it. Sounded like BS but figured I would give her the benefit of the doubt and hoped the no kissing would resolve itself in time.
Little by little over the months she slipped and dropped clues that her past was colorful. I waited till about a week ago when she was a little drunk and asked her number.
She has no idea how many people she has slept with. She lost her virginity to a random at 14. She had a normal relationship for two years after high school. Then in her early twenty's she dated a guy and they were swingers. They would have group sex with other couples and took video, she messed around with other girls while he took pictures, she would have sex with a guy while the boyfriend was in the other room. After they broke up she moved in with her best friend. Those two went on a "one night stand" bender for several years. She told me they brought guys home left and right during those years "it was kind of like a game". In her late twentys she went without any sex at all for two or three years and then moved to my area for a guy she had started dating.
Other than this craziness we are perfect together. I have never had such a close connection with somebody and she obviously loves me, but god damn! If I knew this stuff eight months it would have been a deal breaker for sure but I am attached now and the sex has improved a little. But still no kissing. She is clearly ready to settle down and put the past behind her, so I will too. I just need closure on why she is this way now vs back then. She knows I am disturbed by what she told me so now downplays and lies about her past. Not getting any more strait answers from her so not going to bother asking the questions. Just don't know what to make of this and its driving me nuts. Anybody? And yes we both got tested for STD's.
Little by little over the months she slipped and dropped clues that her past was colorful. I waited till about a week ago when she was a little drunk and asked her number.
She has no idea how many people she has slept with. She lost her virginity to a random at 14. She had a normal relationship for two years after high school. Then in her early twenty's she dated a guy and they were swingers. They would have group sex with other couples and took video, she messed around with other girls while he took pictures, she would have sex with a guy while the boyfriend was in the other room. After they broke up she moved in with her best friend. Those two went on a "one night stand" bender for several years. She told me they brought guys home left and right during those years "it was kind of like a game". In her late twentys she went without any sex at all for two or three years and then moved to my area for a guy she had started dating.
Other than this craziness we are perfect together. I have never had such a close connection with somebody and she obviously loves me, but god damn! If I knew this stuff eight months it would have been a deal breaker for sure but I am attached now and the sex has improved a little. But still no kissing. She is clearly ready to settle down and put the past behind her, so I will too. I just need closure on why she is this way now vs back then. She knows I am disturbed by what she told me so now downplays and lies about her past. Not getting any more strait answers from her so not going to bother asking the questions. Just don't know what to make of this and its driving me nuts. Anybody? And yes we both got tested for STD's.