im-calm-online
New member
ive always lived with my father but we've never had a relationship. we've never had an actual conversation except the times we've had massive arguments. when i was growing up i was rejected by him allot when ever i asked questions he would reply in sarcasm and make me feel thick. then when i asked questions he used to say ask your mother or say leave me alone, allot. i can remember when i gave him a hug i felt something poking in my belly then when i backed off he said whats that (meaning my fat belly). that was when i was 7 years old and that was when i discovered judgment. and now im 18 and realize how rejected ive been, he has 2 daughters from a past marriage and hes always on the phone to them and messing about but doesn't ever talk to me. i know im pretty ugly and chubby but i really think its wrong and he calls me the ugly duckling. i think this has affected me because ive never had a real relationship with a male and when they do show interest ill back off and pretend to not like them. also when i know someone likes me i never take it further because i think i don't deserve anyone and everyone can do better than me. is this because of the relationship with my father or is it just me being a complete looser.