work in progress
New member
I wrote a poem to go with a short fiction I wrote the other day, and now I'm wondering, 'if someone didn't read the fiction, can they still get the main gist of it from this poem?' So, can anyone tell me what they think the story is from my poem?
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"Sinking Seminars" (July 9th, 2009.)
It’s the flaming crimson hair, over the water line
It was his own dare that he could not decline
All ‘cause he thought that he could brave any wave
When his father said no
His own brain said yes
His eyes soon lost their glow
Because he craved success
So after the wave’s attack everyone would dress in black
The single father is in tears
As this confirmed his losing fears
From the autopsy to the mortuary
The boy had always found six feet under scary
And he’d had a dream that he would become a part of the stream
Oh, how ashes burn and make hearts ache
As they give him back to the lake
---
Also, if anyone wants to comment or give me some constructive criticism, it would be greatly appreciated. Just be gentle-- I'm only fifteen.
---
"Sinking Seminars" (July 9th, 2009.)
It’s the flaming crimson hair, over the water line
It was his own dare that he could not decline
All ‘cause he thought that he could brave any wave
When his father said no
His own brain said yes
His eyes soon lost their glow
Because he craved success
So after the wave’s attack everyone would dress in black
The single father is in tears
As this confirmed his losing fears
From the autopsy to the mortuary
The boy had always found six feet under scary
And he’d had a dream that he would become a part of the stream
Oh, how ashes burn and make hearts ache
As they give him back to the lake
---
Also, if anyone wants to comment or give me some constructive criticism, it would be greatly appreciated. Just be gentle-- I'm only fifteen.