this is a part of English composition for my class this part is formed of 4 paragraphs; need to be checked:
1-correcting grammar 2-clarify meaning. 3-the composition built on drama true events, so take free to paraphrase any word or statement, so that it could be a true dramatic as could as possible.
4- the most important thing to me is your opinion, give it a rate
A)worse B)bad C)fair D)V.Good E)distinction. be free to do that
don't forget to let ur E-mail address please active, so I can ask about anything. I do appreciate every answer, thanks so much more, best answer 5 stars(ten marks)thanks for helping.
Second,on 28th of January 2011 (Fri of rage) as protesters were fighting against Riot Forces at the most Squares all over Egypt to continue to march to main Squares, such as Cairo main Square is liberation, others fierce battles had just been started against police departments, stations and jails. This battles started at exactly 3:00 PM that continued all long night until the next day at the most police stations that ended with enormous disaster. prisoners are free and armed, 78% of police station of Egypt was destroyed and burnt, 86% of police station of Cairo as well, a lot of officers was killed and kidnapped up until now others could change their clothes to civil and escape. But the most Police-Stations officers had opened fire at people who attempted to break in. At the district where I live, people started to break in the Police-Stations at 7:00 PM, at 1:00 Am the police-station was destroyed completely,as I heard. A jail that's away from my house just 3 Km was liberated at 5:00 PM, before attack had started at police-station.
at downtown 2:20 PM everything changed, the situation indicated that dangerous clashes are about to occur, I personal had been with some correspondents with Cameras,but suddenly they disappeared, actually "No Journalist Camera capture Videos or photos of what happened", it was first cameraman appeared with the coming of Army, later when Internet connection returned to Egypt a lot of Videos uploaded by protesters' Mobiles Cams and digital cameras of that day, The curfew was announced continual on Egyptian official TV and Radio channel at 3:00 PM, despite the Army stepped in DownTown just on 10:00 PM, excepting the Republican Guard that stepped the DownTown at 8:00 PM But had no real effect, their armored vehicle had been too messy that couldn't point out where fires come from; as protesters pushing into the Liberation Square, they became within aim-fires of snipers that had hidden in pockets upper many building all over the DownTown, awaiting for protesters,that made 6 long hours of murders (the black six hours) later that day known as the Battle of DownTown or the Fri of rage.
anyway that was the beginning of what called the Security Vacuum, police officers refused to return to their places, on 30 January 2011 hundreds of police officers marched into Interior Ministry building DownTown to protest about the very lower stander living they have, little money, no vacation, working for 16 more hours, and finally were killed at their places; during the first 3 days of the uprising most of them had worked for 2 more days like a dog in streets facing angry protesters without finding their houses. Finally the new minister faced them in spite of opining fire at them at the beginning, He rode a Army Tank and started addressing them "I know, the very dark time that all of you have seen it with the ousted minister El-Adly, all of you wanna re-edit payroll, re-scheduling of vacation. Fine,but I've one condition; Sons,El-Adly had fondled you and turned you soft, but me..., anyone of you are not able to protect his weapon like a man before his life..., Anyone of you 'll just do a mistake, then he'll be on Military Trial according to articles of law, Not Civil Trial as El-Adly got you used to be, no dice" the new minister addressed.
Actually that's took place at various Ministries, Administration, Departments, Universities, Schools; the governmental body was actually collapsing itself and it became the first time someone'd pass by a police station titled "CLOSED". that's before Hosni Mubark had stepped down, that's a essential cause of deposing the ousted President Hosni Mubarak after 18 days of wild unrest demonstrations.
A month later, police forces returned to take a new places instead of the destroyed buildings, But they have had only one aim that's the revenging. they have been working so tight, not to secure the state,but just to find their firearms which was looted from them during 28, 29 of January and arrest the free prisoners. the new police-Station in my district is away just 2 hundred meters from house, every night shooting could be hear
1-correcting grammar 2-clarify meaning. 3-the composition built on drama true events, so take free to paraphrase any word or statement, so that it could be a true dramatic as could as possible.
4- the most important thing to me is your opinion, give it a rate
A)worse B)bad C)fair D)V.Good E)distinction. be free to do that
don't forget to let ur E-mail address please active, so I can ask about anything. I do appreciate every answer, thanks so much more, best answer 5 stars(ten marks)thanks for helping.
Second,on 28th of January 2011 (Fri of rage) as protesters were fighting against Riot Forces at the most Squares all over Egypt to continue to march to main Squares, such as Cairo main Square is liberation, others fierce battles had just been started against police departments, stations and jails. This battles started at exactly 3:00 PM that continued all long night until the next day at the most police stations that ended with enormous disaster. prisoners are free and armed, 78% of police station of Egypt was destroyed and burnt, 86% of police station of Cairo as well, a lot of officers was killed and kidnapped up until now others could change their clothes to civil and escape. But the most Police-Stations officers had opened fire at people who attempted to break in. At the district where I live, people started to break in the Police-Stations at 7:00 PM, at 1:00 Am the police-station was destroyed completely,as I heard. A jail that's away from my house just 3 Km was liberated at 5:00 PM, before attack had started at police-station.
at downtown 2:20 PM everything changed, the situation indicated that dangerous clashes are about to occur, I personal had been with some correspondents with Cameras,but suddenly they disappeared, actually "No Journalist Camera capture Videos or photos of what happened", it was first cameraman appeared with the coming of Army, later when Internet connection returned to Egypt a lot of Videos uploaded by protesters' Mobiles Cams and digital cameras of that day, The curfew was announced continual on Egyptian official TV and Radio channel at 3:00 PM, despite the Army stepped in DownTown just on 10:00 PM, excepting the Republican Guard that stepped the DownTown at 8:00 PM But had no real effect, their armored vehicle had been too messy that couldn't point out where fires come from; as protesters pushing into the Liberation Square, they became within aim-fires of snipers that had hidden in pockets upper many building all over the DownTown, awaiting for protesters,that made 6 long hours of murders (the black six hours) later that day known as the Battle of DownTown or the Fri of rage.
anyway that was the beginning of what called the Security Vacuum, police officers refused to return to their places, on 30 January 2011 hundreds of police officers marched into Interior Ministry building DownTown to protest about the very lower stander living they have, little money, no vacation, working for 16 more hours, and finally were killed at their places; during the first 3 days of the uprising most of them had worked for 2 more days like a dog in streets facing angry protesters without finding their houses. Finally the new minister faced them in spite of opining fire at them at the beginning, He rode a Army Tank and started addressing them "I know, the very dark time that all of you have seen it with the ousted minister El-Adly, all of you wanna re-edit payroll, re-scheduling of vacation. Fine,but I've one condition; Sons,El-Adly had fondled you and turned you soft, but me..., anyone of you are not able to protect his weapon like a man before his life..., Anyone of you 'll just do a mistake, then he'll be on Military Trial according to articles of law, Not Civil Trial as El-Adly got you used to be, no dice" the new minister addressed.
Actually that's took place at various Ministries, Administration, Departments, Universities, Schools; the governmental body was actually collapsing itself and it became the first time someone'd pass by a police station titled "CLOSED". that's before Hosni Mubark had stepped down, that's a essential cause of deposing the ousted President Hosni Mubarak after 18 days of wild unrest demonstrations.
A month later, police forces returned to take a new places instead of the destroyed buildings, But they have had only one aim that's the revenging. they have been working so tight, not to secure the state,but just to find their firearms which was looted from them during 28, 29 of January and arrest the free prisoners. the new police-Station in my district is away just 2 hundred meters from house, every night shooting could be hear