Can A gay person be in love with someone of the opposite sex?

H

Harry C

New member
This is a wierd situation I find myself in. I am gay. I am simply not attracted to girls and I find myself attracted to men. Now I have a dear friend who is a woman. Sometimes though I feel like I love her on a deeper level than that. Its hard to explain really. Now I am still not attracted to her in a sexual sense, but I feel like I always want to spend time with her. If I go a few days without seeing her I start to miss her (something i dont do with my other friends). I spend a TON of time with her and she knows I am gay. The real thing that made me confused was when she started talking about dating and getting married. I am usually happy for people when they find someone special, but I find myself hoping she never gets married. I know that is extremely selfish of me, and I do want her to be happy but I dont know why I feel that way. Like I said before, I feel no sexual attraction towards her, but it feels like I am in love. Is that possible? I don't want to move forward and try to form a relationship because I have no idea how something like that would work, but I don't want to see her run off and marry some other guy and forget about me. So where do I go from here?
 
omg the same thing happened to me im straight girl and i found myself feeling in love with a close female friend even though i had no sexual feelings for her. I used to miss her loads and we used to be able to talk for hours bout everything. I figure if it is possible to lust for someone without being in love then it must be possible to be in love with someone in a purely asexual way.
 
She's a dear, dear friend. I have a friend like that. Same situation exactly. Where do you go? You fight down your own jealousy and allow her time and space to find a man she loves, while you find one of your own.
 
Either you have found a friend that you really click with and are going to really be good friends with for a long time, or you may be bi.
 
I've heard of this happening before... it's like, you can be almost completely gay, but in almost everybody there's a little bit of straightness in you, hardly anybody is attracted completely to one sex. And sometimes that's enough to fall in love. I would try to get over it, because without any physical attraction, the relationship probably wouldn't work.
 
Love doesn't have to include sexuality. You can love someone and not be sexually attracted to them. It's the most genuine type of love that there is. If you can love someone, and not think for an instant how they are in bed, then you have just found an invaluable life-long friend. Who knows, maybe you'll be the next Will and Grace.
 
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