Angie Jimenez
New member
...like to ask? REALITY CHECK
She the type of girl you would always find in a mall
Carrying her small chiwawa in her fake coach purse
The type of girl who needs a wake up call
The type of girl that will make you feel small
Trys to itimidate you and trys to make you fall
Smiles and stands tall on the outside
But crys behind close doors
Lies to herself and pretends life is just a fairytell
Belives in silly things like the saying
everytime a bell rings
an angle earns its wings ( should i take this part out?)
But when she gets tangled with her pretend world
reality lends her a helping had and shows her
how cold the real world really is...
Okay so i wrote this and for the moment i have major writters block!
The part: everytime a bell rings an angle earns its wings means a lot to me i got it from a movie that me and my family watch every year. so i really wanted to put it in there but since i got writers block i had no idea where to put it in and how to word it so what do you guys think? tell me what you hate and love about my poem/song... i see it more as a song. its about a girl who lives in a fantasy world she can eat wear see and hear whatever she wants but soon she notices that she lost her sister to cancer and i am still working on it this poem is suppose to tell a story : rich girl gets a wake up call when she loses her sis to cancer and its true.... and there is a bunch of moms and girls out there like this so... thats what inspired me to write it but i think it sucks? soo dump it or keep it or keep it and edit it? what do u hate and love about it? what should i add and take out? P.S THIS IS JUST THE BEGINING I GUESS I SHOULD CALL IT THAT I AM STILL NOT DONE THERE IS GOING TO BE MORE AND A LOT OF EDITING! OH AND WHAT SHOULD I CALL IT?!
sorry i didnt mean to put this part: what questions would you like to ask and please actually give me constructive crtitzism and sorry for all the mispels computer is freezing too much.
She the type of girl you would always find in a mall
Carrying her small chiwawa in her fake coach purse
The type of girl who needs a wake up call
The type of girl that will make you feel small
Trys to itimidate you and trys to make you fall
Smiles and stands tall on the outside
But crys behind close doors
Lies to herself and pretends life is just a fairytell
Belives in silly things like the saying
everytime a bell rings
an angle earns its wings ( should i take this part out?)
But when she gets tangled with her pretend world
reality lends her a helping had and shows her
how cold the real world really is...
Okay so i wrote this and for the moment i have major writters block!
The part: everytime a bell rings an angle earns its wings means a lot to me i got it from a movie that me and my family watch every year. so i really wanted to put it in there but since i got writers block i had no idea where to put it in and how to word it so what do you guys think? tell me what you hate and love about my poem/song... i see it more as a song. its about a girl who lives in a fantasy world she can eat wear see and hear whatever she wants but soon she notices that she lost her sister to cancer and i am still working on it this poem is suppose to tell a story : rich girl gets a wake up call when she loses her sis to cancer and its true.... and there is a bunch of moms and girls out there like this so... thats what inspired me to write it but i think it sucks? soo dump it or keep it or keep it and edit it? what do u hate and love about it? what should i add and take out? P.S THIS IS JUST THE BEGINING I GUESS I SHOULD CALL IT THAT I AM STILL NOT DONE THERE IS GOING TO BE MORE AND A LOT OF EDITING! OH AND WHAT SHOULD I CALL IT?!
sorry i didnt mean to put this part: what questions would you like to ask and please actually give me constructive crtitzism and sorry for all the mispels computer is freezing too much.