Call this what you will.

H

Heather M349

New member
Today, I was playing tetris, and it suddenly dawned on me that I lose at life.

I sleep, I work, I sit at my computer until midnight, I repeat. On weekends when I'm not working, I sit at my computer all day.

I'm 21 years old. I have never had a girlfriend who I didn't meet over the net and who wasn't long distance. By long distance, I mean the other side of this continent. I can count the ammount of times I had sex on one hand (no pun intended), and I've only kissed one girl in my life.

That was when I was 20. And I had to fly across this continent to do so.

I have very few friends, and again, it seems the only people who give a shit about whether I live or die are people I've never met. Aside from family, of course.

I've only been drunk twice in my life. And by drunk, I mean passed out on the floor. Both times were in grade 11.

I have a hard time talking to people, and, as a result, people don't like me. I'm boring because I'm quiet. Or because I have no interesting stories about my life. Or both. I don't know. All I know is I'm uninteresting.

I feel as if every day I'm searching for a purpose... for a reason to keep living. I don't know what it is or if I'll ever find it. No, I'm not happy. And I don't think I ever will be happy. I don't know what I'm good at, I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't even know what I'm interested in. I don't know anything.

I know threads like this never go without insults, so call me names if you want. Tell me I'm emo. I just don't give a fuck anymore.
 
Well, first off, I'm not going to insult you. And I hardly find you uninteresting. As far as I can tell, you seem like an okay guy.

I'm sure that you'll actually find your reasons as to what you want in life... sometimes it takes others longer to find out what they are, but that doesn't mean that you give up.

I've never met you, obviously, and I've not had many run-ins with you on the forum, but just reading your posts gives me a little knowledge of your character. From what I am able to see, however, you're witty, and you don't mind speaking your own when it comes around to it. Both are strong points.

Don't let yourself be down. The time will come when you'll see what you've got laid out in front of you.

Good luck in everything.
 
Cheer up bro, are you feeling down just cause of playing tetris? I know the feeling of wasting a 4 day weekend playing a game and not getting out of the house to do something, but isn't that why the made games...

I was a little like that, and then I got a jeep. Now I sit in my room playing vedio games till a good rain comes, and go get dirty as fuck. I think one difference that I have is I am very hyper. I can talk and talk, and I am very aprochable. I can talk about alot of things except sports, but it seems to be enough. Have you ever done some work for someone? Like installed a car sterio or something? Do you collect old game systems and sutch?

I would suggest finding something you do feel strongly about (games will work) and try to join conversations about them.

Today we were in the smoke pit talking about random shit, and someone said something about grafix, and I interupted and asked what they were talking about. They were talking about a game I have never heard of. I asked what it was like, and they said it was life a faster version of FF...
I told them about how I have never palyed any of the FF series becuse I hated the first one for Nintendo so much.

I know you watch movies, you can talk about movies can't you? The discution in the smoke pit rolled around into a CGI discution and I brough up how they use programs to do large intence seens in some movies like Independince day, and how good some of it looks, even though they are still haivng a hard time getting shadows down right.

I think you just feel more comfortable here, and you can meat people better online. Have you tryed joining a forum for your area? You would still be talking to people online, but it would be much easer to meat.

When I was 20, I was in a very similar boat, except I didn't know shit about computers. I was working at the lemp brewery, and I was getting treated like a kid. Yeah I was 20, but I was hired because I was very usefull and handy when it came to repairing things. A new manager was hired, and he told me that the most usefull thing I could do was sweep floors. So I went from fixing and greasing elivators to sweeping floors. All I did after work was play video games on my Ps2. I can say I felt just like you, only I still hadn't had sex yet. I wasn't meating new people. I was just going to work, sweeping a floor for 23 hours a week, and going home. I had been trashed once. Now, what changed for me was a Navy recurter called my house 7 times on the day I got pissed as hell at that dumbass manager, so I said fuck it, I'll give the navy a shot.

I am not saying join a service, I'm just saying you need to change something. Go to a different club, make some bad people and get arested, have a few nights you can't remember. Your not going to get into a car accdent sitting at home playing video games, but your also not going to get laid.
 
Man, that's pretty shitty. But, from what I can tell from your posts, you seem like a really cool guy and I'm suprised you don't have a significant other. If your life is that bad, or more over boring, stop bitching and do something about it. You are the only one in control of your life and only you can change it. Go to some bars, get completely and utterly shitfaced. Go around looking for a girl. Fuck, kill a hooker if you want to. Just do something.
 
You are in a rut, like a car stuck in a ditch, your trying to get out by spinning your wheels and making it harder for yourself. You need a truck to come up with a big crane on it and put you back on the road. And that crane is changing your surroundings. It is very easy to get to a point in life where everything develops a comfortable routine. You get up, go to work, come home, play pc, go to sleep everyday.

Now say you change one of those things, say for example, change house, suddenly 25% of your daily routine is completely different, this has a knock-on effect of the rest of your life, now you have to go into town to pick furnishings/decorating materials. You meet new people because your in a different area, you take a different route to work, new experiences, you don't spend aslong on the pc because you're re-decorating and so you've broken the cycle. Do that with another thing and suddenly 75% of your routine has changed because of the knock-on effect. You are now doing things in a different way, at different times, encountering different people.

All you have to do is find people that interest you and talk to them. You are who you are, that you can't change, but you can change your surroundings and inevitably encounter other people like you.

pep talk over, now go do something
 
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