Okay.. here is the deal... My friend of over ten years joined the National Guard, I haven't actually seen this friend in over 4 years but was always just a known thing that he and I were friends. While at basic training he had a mutual friend contact me and let me know that he was there and asked if I would write him. Which of course I did, we started writing back and forth, he even snuck his cell phone in and text me with sweet texts the entire stay. Over the last ten years he had a crush on me and was expressing that now since I was recently seperated and he too had divorse in the recent years. Over the two months he pushed for us to start a relationship and even refered to me as his girlfriend and I did him as my boyfriend. The letters were all very geniune and very sweet, I have developed a huge emotional attachment to him. And what appeared to be on his end as well. right up until the day he graduated from basic we had made plans to be with each other and even a vacation as soon as he returned. Then graduation comes I hear from via text right after the graduation then NOTHING! and I mean nothing he would not return calls texts NOTHING... it took two days but I finally tracked him down and he looks like someone shot his puppy, he told me he needs some time a few days to put the peices together that he can't be for me what I deserve and bla bla... I am so confused the issues that are so large now were issues that we were both aware of before he got home what changed in 24 hours?? He says he thinks that it was just the shock of coming home .... but the whole time he is talking to me he is carressing my hand and even kissed me good bye then nothing again for two days!! The trip that we were suppose to take he went on and I too went and stayed with a girfriend.. I asked him if he would walk on the beach with me no strings attached and he repleId no.. REALLY?? I am heartbroken over this whole thing.. I can not deside if he is looking for a way out or if he really feels like he is less of a man now that he is home and needs to get the job and have the plan in motion before being commited?? .. the plot then thickens.. the next night after the no he wont walk on the beach We run into eachother out at a bar.. very ackward we didnt even speak to each other I am trying to respect the space or time whatever you call it.. lots of long glances and nothing then later I couldnt help it and walked up and said I am gonna give your your time but you can still be my friend, he smiled and held me in his arms where we danced for awhile.. the dancing then lead to or first sexual experience.. now I am so worried that he asked for his space and because i didnt give it to him ( not intentially) will he clam back up.. he asked me to call when I got home to let him know I got home safe I sent him a text.. then followed with another text that basically said " I am sorry. I had no intentions of seeing u at all and I know u said u want ur space.. I don't want to be ur hookup chic love, that isn't who i am. and I care about u too much for that.. next time i want u to want thw whole package.. have a good day" ... now I sent this for fear of the rejection again.. figured I would beat him to the punch.. not only that but I am not his hookup chic and I don't want him to get confused??? as of right now I am killing myself but am trying to not text him or call for any reason... I want him to figure it out we are great together and I love him for him not the job that he has or what issues he is working through but he needs to feel good about himself I just don't understand why he is pushing me away... anyone else ever deal with something like this? any suggestions?? Do I wait for him to come to me? what if he doesnt? should I push or back off?
Boyfriend returns from Army basic training and now needs space. help?
- Thread starter Diana
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