Books & Authors Is Quite Boring Right Now, So...?

.Nicoleee

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Read and comment on my new chapter;
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmF7f0KQMGaPcF.r4rH28zif5HNG;_ylv=3?qid=20090707012245AAzh9pj

Tell me what mistakes you find because my editing is horrible :P Don't forget to comment if you have an account.

:D Yay. Thanks loves.
Thank-you Cloud Man for answering my question so thoroughly. It's a huge complement that you liked my writing, and I am aware that a lot of people hate vampires now because they are over-used, but that is one of the reasons I am writing about them, to bring them back to their horrible nature.

My intentions were not to make the reader laugh, but think she was cruel. I commented on her playing with her food.

Another thing that wasn't my intention was making her so cruel that people dislike her, so I'm really considering going through it and making her less horrid and more human. But I'll write a bit more and see where it goes.

I'm sure age has nothing to do with it since I am 14 and love mythical creatures, but I can't make it tickle your fancy. I can very much understand that you are tired of the whole vampire thing (if that's what you mean), but always keep an open mind :P

Once again, thanks and I appreciate your critique.
 
Hmm...I can see tumble weeds blowing around, despite the fact that your writing is about the best I have seen (from someone unpublished, of course). In general, reading about vampires (for me, at least) is getting a bit predictable and therefore unbearable. But I will not go there. First person, because it is generally horribly written (as well as the fact that I like the bigger picture, as with third person), would generally put me off, but your prose was executed quite well. It neither a session of infernal winging of the undead nor was it boring.

Now, the things to think about (probably the greatest flaw) is the dialogue. The brief encounter with the woman, whom was stalked home by the friendly neighborhood vamp, was strange to say the least. Did you intend for the reader to be amused, to laugh? Sorry, but you didn't get me there.

Finally, to keep this brief, I found the protagonist to be a bit sadistic. Even though she is a vampire, and I know that is what they are, with the urges for blood, etcetera, but I was slightly inclined to dislike her. You head for a strong, impulsive protagonist (and those truly are the best, not the weak and timid!) but I, personally, was unable to connect. I admit, again, that I am not a great fan, and this is perhaps the basis of my opinion. Don't get me wrong; I am not some old guy who simply dislikes the genre. Perhaps I am completely wrong (although, unlikely) and this will attract a great gathering in its wake. I am 17, so not too old to enjoy the genre, but I urge you to consider the character. Perhaps I am simply tired?

Anyway, as the author, it is all up to you...keep up the writing, it was thoroughly enjoyable, despite the fact it is not my cup of tea (I couldn't help but, out of character, use the tea phrase).
 
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